Jotun Prince

Broken

Everything was fuzzy. Loki could barely tell where he was. It felt like he was drowning in his own body. Somewhere distant he heard the soft tone of an old friend's voice but he couldn't make out the words. For a moment, very brief, he felt grounded by a pair of strong arms. But the sensation was fleeting.

Thor knew he'd told Loki he'd help him but he didn't know where to start. He couldn't entirely grasp what was wrong with him in the first place. But he couldn't let Loki remain this way. He looked the young man in the face only to find unfamiliar eyes staring back at him. He sighed. He needed help, he couldn't fix this alone. "Come on" Thor said gently, making sure Loki was looking at him as he spoke before taking him by the hand and leading him outside.

They walked for a while, steadily making their way to Bifröst where Heimdall spent most of his time.

By the time they arrived, Heimdall sat, waiting for them.

"I need your help" said Thor. "He" he said, correcting himself. "He needs your help"

         Heimdall took Thor aside, motioning for Loki to stay put.

        Loki obediently stood by the entrance and waited patiently, not sure why he was brought there in the first place but content to have gotten some fresh air.

        "Thor" Heimdall said firmly. "You're not going to want to hear this... however... After what he's been through" he shook his head gently. "I dont know that there is a way to help him."

        Thor furrowed his brows, fists clenching in anger. "We cant-" he yelled, breaking himself off momentarily, glancing back at Loki who seemed uncharacteristically disinterested in their conversation. "We cant just leave him like this" he said, softer this time.

        Heimdall thought for a moment but shook his head again. "Even if by some miracle we were able to help him... think of all the trauma he would be left with. Right now he doesn't remember what happened to him. If we bring him back he might not be able to cope with the reality of it all." He sighed. "Even the best case scenario doesn't end well for him. Dont forget, he's still your father's prisoner. Perhaps its better this way."

        Thor could barely believe his ears. Without another word he returned to Loki's side.

        "You seem upset... what ha-"

        Thor didn't answer. He simply took Loki by the hand and lead him back out. Instead of returning to the palace, he took Loki to a quiet spot outside the city, far from his father and the rest of those responsible for turning him into this strange half alive version of himself. It was then and only then that he released his grip on Loki's hand, rubbing his palms together in thought. He sat beneath a tall, old tree, twisted branches providing gentle protection from the afternoon sun.

        Loki lingered where Thor had left him, hands wringing together in a repetitive nervous motion he was entirely unaware of. He waited, watching Thor carefully. His face was contorted in a deep, troubled expression and, when the expression persisted without a word or even a glance up, Loki sat next to him, tapping his shoulder gently. "Is something wrong?" he asked. "have I done something?"

        Thor had been deep in thought. He'd told Loki he would help him but, at the time, he'd been counting on Heimdall's assistance. Without him, what was there he could really do? He wasn't equipped to help Loki piece himself back together on his own. Loki's soft tapping ripped him from his thoughts, turning to look in his direction. Swiftly, he shook his head. "No, dear friend, you've done nothing" he said firmly. He tried his best to make sure his words were clear, trying to make sure Loki understood him.

        "I don't understand" Loki said, frowning. But when the Asgardian started to repeat himself, he interrupted. Thor's words sounded fuzzy and distant but he'd enunciated well enough that he, at least as far as he knew, had gotten the message."No- I- I heard you. I just meant ... I don't understand what we're doing out here. Whats going on?" He hadn't meant to but he must've sounded desperate, he could tell by the way Thor was looking at him.

        The Asgardian sighed a heavy sigh. He didn't know how he would explain it all to him. He didn't know if he even should. Perhaps Heimdall had been right after all. He bit the inside of his lip pensively. "You're just not acting like yourself. There's something wrong with-" he broke off seeing Loki's expression darken. "No! I didn't mean it like that I just..." his voice trailed off. He was making a mess of things. "You were... gone for a while and when you returned you were different and..." he paused, gesturing to his ears. Loki was staring at him with a blank expression and he couldn't tell if it was because he hadn't been able to work out what he was saying or if he was confused by the words themselves. Thor sighed, rubbing a hand against his temple in mild exasperation. He didn't know if he was helping or just making things worse.

        A slow panic rose in Loki's chest. Thor's gaze fell upon him, heavy, expectant. Had he missed something? Was there some part of what he'd said that was supposed to make sense to him? "you're not making any sense. Are you ill?" His eyebrows raised in concern, hand reaching out to feel Thor's forehead for any sign of fever. His skin was warm beneath his touch but no more than it should have been.

        Loki's skin felt cool against his own. Thor grasped the Jotun's wrist and gently pushed his hand away from his face, shaking his head slowly. He didn't know what to say, what magic set of words he could use to fix him. All he could manage was "Im sorry."