stray kids imagines

broken promises

hyunjin x jisung
hyunsung

"in the end, promises are just words"

three months. it's been three months since he broke my heart. we were so close, we even talked about getting married in the future. i loved him so much. i gave my everything to him. it just got thrown away. who would think seven beers could destroy five years. it hurts so much, i never thought i could experience a pain like this. walking in on it, and seeing it before my eyes, felt like bullets going through my skin. i just wanted the pain to be over with. i don't want to feel this anymore.

i get up and throw my journal to the side. maybe if i didn't have to go to the bathroom that wouldn't have happened. i miss him so much, more then anyone can imagine. i still sleep in his sweaters that somehow have his scent imprinted in it, no matter how much i wash it because it got soaked in my snot and tears. i wish i could steal another one.

i sigh as i look at my door that still has the polaroids hug up on the string lights. the one of him and me standing in front of a firework that just went off, and the ones at the beach, but my favorite our first date. i squeeze my eyes shut, trying to make the tears not come out.

i slam my door shut and walked into my kitchen, i see a photo hanging up on my fridge. i have to get ride of these. i cant keep them anymore. i cant look at them any longer, i literally feel like i'm dying.

i look at myself in the mirror i have hung up in the hallway. my eyes were baggy and my lips were swollen. i haven't brushed my hair in a whole week, even after showering, and i haven't been taking care of myself.

i decided that today is the day, i will stop all of this suffering. i went to the fridge and ripped the photo of me and him off. i walk to my bedroom and grab my stringed lights, i tugged them harshly and the wire broke. i went to my dresser and grabbed the box of notes he would write me. i went to my closet and grabbed all the sweaters of his i could find. i went into my bathroom and i seen his hairbrush and the bracket we got together back in 2017.

i never felt like this before, i want the pain to stop, but everything i touch of his makes my heart thump. i look around trying to find anything that's his. my eyes locked with one photo. that's when i broke down. i ran into my front room and threw all of his stuff i had on the floor. i grab the photo i seen and threw it on top. i couldn't believe i was about to do this.

i look around my house for some scissors. i found them and went back to the pile of his stuff. i sat down right in front of them, i took the photo of us that was on top. i photo was just a photo of us holding hands and you seen out matching bracelets. i don't know why i broke down when i seen it. the tears were still coming out. i remember that day, the first day we ever said "i love you". i couldn't let that go.

i open the scissors and was about to cut the photo. i was so, so close. i couldn't. it was just a damned photo. that photo hens so many memories, every time hyunjin would come over, he would touch the photo and smile. i would love seeing that smile. the tears that were coming out of my eyes kept coming, they wouldn't stop.

i took a second to think about everything that happened between me and him, our first kiss, our first " i love you " our first everything. i couldn't help but scream. i haven't screamed this loud in my whole life.

"WHY! WHY DID YOU HAVE TO DO THIS TO US!" i continued to scream and my eyes were starting to burn. i threw the scissors across the room and i started to pound on the floor.

i haven't felt this much pain ever since the day i walked in on him. i never wanted to feel that again, but this time it just felt worse. i cant understand what's wrong with me.

i continued to scream and cry and my throat gave out. i couldn't even let out a whisper. i was about to get up when i felt arms wrap around my waist.

"shhh... baby, i'm here."

i never wanted to hear that voice again, but today i have never felt more at comfort, when i heard it.

"why... why did you do it." i barley let it out. i didn't want to know his answer, but at the same time, it was killing me to now know.

"i will never forgive myself for what happened, and i don't even know why i did it. i was so drunk. we all know i'm a lightweight. i never wanted to hurt you, you have no idea, no idea how much i hate myself. every morning. i cant even look at myself. i never wanted to hurt you, and that's exactly what i did. i'm so sorry my baby. you probably will never forgive me, but trust me, i never ever, ever will hurt you again. i ruined the more precious thing to me when i did what i did. you are my whole life, i cant imagine myself without you, that's why i cant here today. again i'm sorry baby.."

jisung wasn't sure what to feel, but he knew then and there, he didn't want to be without hyunjin not for a second.

"i just... i want to stay like this for a while." jisung muttered. that's all hyunjin needed though, was just to hold his baby.