Waste Love 2/2 *smut*

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It had been a few months since I broke things off with Colson and it still hurt like a bitch. I plastered a smile on my face and went about my day like my heart isn't in a million pieces but that shits hard when he's everywhere. He was doing interviews for one of his upcoming movies and it was like I couldn't get away from him. So, I distracted myself with drugs and alcohol and tried not to think about the huge hole in my chest. My plan was going about as well as drug abuse and binge drinking can go until I decided to stay home for the first night in months. I don't know why I did but it was probably a worse decision than doing coke ever thought about being. I spent most of the night crying and then I decided, "Why waste my tears on a boy? At least use them on something with it!" So I turned on the notebook and proceeded to cry into my ice cream for a solid hour until I heard my phone buzz. I thought it was kinda weird since it was like 3 am but I ignored it. Then, it went off again so I picked it up. What I saw on the screen was definitely not what I was expecting; it was a "You up" text from Colson, followed by "This is Kells btw". The last text was unnecessary though, because I hadn't deleted his contact yet. I sat there for a good 10 minutes trying to decide if I should answer or not. I decided not to leave him hanging, "I know who it is, I didn't delete you 🙄". I knew I shouldn't but I couldn't help myself, I really missed him! He replied almost immediately, "Well I didn't know! I mean you were pretty pissed so I figured that would've been the first thing you did". "Trust me, I wanted to, but I decided against it" I typed, trying not to seem too desperate. "So, what have you been up to?" He sent back. Oh man, small talk, is that what we've become? "Nothing much partying hard and working, wbu?" I replied. "Same 😂" he answered before starting to type another message, "I miss you y/n". Here we go, I know exactly where this conversation is going, "I miss you too Kells". I could've stopped him right there and shut him down but me, being the dumbass I am, decided to see how far he was willing to go. "I'm sorry for what happened between us. Like really sorry 😐" he replied. "I know you are." I should've stopped this but I just kept letting it go on, "I still love you and I wanna talk to you". Before I could answer he sent another text, "In person". Oh fuck, I've got to put a stop to this before we both do something we regret, "yeah maybe some time this week we can meet up for lunch.". I tried to shut him down but I should've known he wouldn't take no for an answer, "I was thinking more like, tonight", oh great. "Are you sure that's a good idea? I mean, we didn't leave things so great the last time we saw each other." I typed as I tried to fight the urge to immediately drive to his house. "Yeah I think talking it out could do us some good and Casie isn't home tonight so it'll just be us" I knew he knew exactly what he was doing but we both continued to play dumb. "Okay, if that's what you want then I'll head over in a few." I sent it and got up to fix myself; I looked like a hobo after spending the night crying my eyes out. I heard my phone go off again, "That is what I want, be careful and I'll see you when you get here" I read it but didn't reply. After about 45 minutes of hair and makeup I threw my clothes on and left. I knew what was going to happen when I went over there but a part of me knew deep down that I still loved him and I needed to see him. I started getting butterflies when I put my car in park in his driveway. I walked to the front door and spent 2 minutes deciding if I should knock or just go in; I decided knocking would probably be best. He opened the door in nothing but sweat pants and I felt my heart rate pick up. "Fuck, he looks good!" I thought to myself as I followed him into the living room. "Took you long enough to get here, I've been waiting for like 2 hours!" He joked to try and break the awkward tension. I was still in denial about the reason I was there so I tried to keep the conversation on track, "So what did you wanna talk to me about?" I asked as I messed with my bracelet. "Nothing really, I just wanted to apologize to your face and I wanted to see you again" He's voice sent shivers down my spine. I could feel the heat radiating off his leg due to our closeness but I tried to ignore it, "Oh well, apology accepted, I'm trying to stop holding grudges so this will be a great place to start." I mumbled. One thing about me, I can be a stone cold bitch, until I'm under Kells thumb; then it's game over. He makes me melt and he knows it. "Well that's good" he said scooting closer to me. "Yep" I said, popping the p and scooting away from him until I was up against the arm of the couch. "Why are you so tense? You need to relax, do you wanna watch a movie?" He asked, grabbing the remote. I just nodded my head and tried to think about anything but him; that plan hadn't worked for months and it wasn't about to start working now. "Here you pick." He said, laying the remote on my lap and barely grazing my thigh with his fingertips. "No, it's your house you pick" I said, laying the remote on his lap. "This is our house, you can leave but it will always be our house y/n." He said as he began to flip through Netflix. I couldn't say anything so I just sat there and stared at the tv. He flipped passed Friends, then smirked and went back to it. I smiled a little at the fact that he remembered it was my favorite show. "This good?" He asked with a smirk. "You know it is Kells." I rolled my eyes before looking into his. His eyes had always been my favorite part about him and that was one thing that still hadn't changed. I quickly turned away and went back to watching tv before the eye contact got awkward. "You want something to drink?" He asked as he got up to go to the kitchen. "Yeah can you get me..." "Screwdriver, I know" he cut me off with a smile. "Yes, y/n, lets add alcohol into the mix! That always goes so well for you!" I though to myself as I watched the tv. The second Colson got back I downed my drink and went and made myself another one. We watched a few episodes of Friends in comfortable silence before he started scooting closer to me; which I aloud in my buzzed state. I wasn't the only one that was buzzing though. It was very obvious that Kells had a pretty good buzz going himself. We were well on our way to drunk when I laid my head on his shoulder. He didn't say anything; he just slipped his arm around me and for the first time in months everything felt perfect. I knew deep down that we were just leading ourselves on but I had to indulge. "I missed this so much." He whispered into my hair while his hand trailed up and down my side. "Me too" I whispered back. His hand was traveling lower and lower with each stroke until he was rubbing past my ass and all the way down my thigh. Then he stopped moving and laid his hand on my thigh; I physically tensed up at that and I could just see the smirk on his face. I could feel his eyes on me as he inched his hand up my thigh. Just as he was about to dip his hand in between my thighs I used every ounce of will power I had and stopped him, "Kells, we shouldn't." I breathed out as I tried to calm myself down. "Yeah, well I'm known for doing things I shouldn't be doing" he said as he brushed some hair behind my ear. "I broke up with you for a reason, if were gonna do this I need to know I can trust you to not fuck me over again." I tried to sound serious but his hand was still rubbing my thigh. Honestly, in that moment, he could've told me he was planning on fucking another girl later that night and I still would've slept with him; he's my weakness and he knows it. "I promise baby, now will you please let me make it up to you?" He whispered as he held my face in his hands. All I could do was nod like an idiot and watch him as he got off the couch. "And I'm not just saying that to get in your pants. I really am sorry and it won't happen again." He started taking my pants off before he continued, "I love you and I'm never gonna hurt you again, unless you ask for it" he smirked before pulling my panties to the side and running one long finger up my slit. "Fuck baby, you're so wet." He licked his finger and it took everything I had not to beg him to fuck me right then and there. I stayed quite and watched as he watched me while he slid one finger in me and slowly started pumping. I let out a breathy moan which he apparently appreciated, "Damn that's hot". He slowly added another finger and began to rub my clit; we both held eye contact the whole time. He went on like this for a while before he had me right on the edge, "Are you gonna come for me baby?" I couldn't do anything but nod my head and bite my lip. Then he dipped his head down and began sucking on my clit and that was all it took; a few seconds of that and I was coming undone. When I was finished he laid his head on my stomach and I began massaging his head with my finger nails, "God Damn Kells" I breathed out, causing him to laugh, "I told you I wanted to make it up to you so don't even think we're done yet." "Well before we continue with me how about I return the favor?" I purred, causing him to tilt his head up and look at me with pure excitement. "You don't have to, tonight's supposed to be about you baby." He said as he hugged me. "Yeah but if it's not good for you it won't be good for me so..." I held out my hand to him so we could both help each other up. Before I could switch our positions he stopped me with a hand on my throat, "Baby, I could eat you out every day and never get anything in return and it'd still be more than good for me; making you come is half the fun." He whispered in my ear before taking his seat on the couch. I moaned out loud at that before taking my place on my knees in front of him. I took my shirt and bra off and then immediately got to work pulling his sweatpants down . He groaned in relief when I finally got my hand around his dick. It was just as perfect as I remembered and I couldn't help but lay teasing licks on the head. He let out another groan as I put the head in my mouth; I looked up at him through my lashes as I relentlessly swirled my tongue around it. It didn't take long for him to grow impatient and tangle his fingers in my hair to try and get me to take more of him. I did as he wanted and took all of him at one time; causing him to moan loudly and fist my hair which in turn caused me to moan. I let him do all the work as he held my hair and thrust into my mouth. All I could think about the whole time was how bad I wanted him to fuck me. I knew he was close and I looked at him, silently begging with my eyes. He moaned again, "God you look so good with my dick in your mouth; all hot and wet and begging to be fucked." He pushed my head all the way down so I was deep throating him; once I started to gag he let me go and motioned for me to lay on the couch but I decided against that. I sat on his lap and started to suck on his ear which earned me one sexy moan. "Tonight's supposed to be about you y/n" he moaned out as he rubbed up and down my back. "Trust me, this is just as good for me as it is for you." I whispered in his ear before moving my mouth to leave hickeys on his neck. He tangled his fist back in my hair and pulled me until my neck was in reach of his lips. I became a moaning mess as he repaid the favor and left me some hickeys. Then he suddenly let go of my hair and his lips were on mine in a second; his hands roaming all over my body while our tongues fought for dominance. Then I felt his hand slide between us and I lifted up so he could position his member underneath me. A few seconds later I felt him teasing my clit with the head of his dick just as he started to suck on my nipple. "Oh my god" I moaned out as he continued to tease me. He let go of my nipple and sat there taking in the show for a few more minutes until I started to get restless, "Baby" I whined as he continued to tease my clit. "What?" He smirked. "I thought this was supposed to be about me!" I whined again as I tried in vein to get him inside me. "Oh don't even try to act like you don't like being teased, I know you y/n" he said, causing me to blush and hide my face in the crook of his neck. He laughed at that before speaking again, "But you're right it is about you so if you want to ride me then who am I to stop you." He said as he wrapped his free hand in my hair and guided my head until my forehead was on his. He never broke eye contact as he slid his member in me; I had to break eye contact because my eyes rolled in the back of my head but I could still feel his eyes on me. I went all the way down until I felt his thighs on my ass then we just sat there for a minute. He never moved as he gave me time to adjust, "You good? You're super fucking tight" he whispered as he rubbed my back. I gave him no warning before I started riding him, "oh fuck baby" he moaned out right before I attached my mouth to his. I rode him slowly as he held on tight to my hips; never breaking our kiss. He bit into my lip hard causing me to claw my nails down his back which made him moan. I started riding him faster but not fast enough apparently because he flipped me on my back before I even had time to comprehend what was going on, "I'm sorry baby, I know you wanted to ride me but we both know we got some shit to work out and the best way to do that is to let me fuck you." He panted as he lined up his member. "I mean if you wanna fuck the shit out of me then who am I to stop you", I laughed as I wrapped my arms around his neck and clawed my nails down his back. He groaned and looked me dead in the eyes as he slid into me for the second time that night. I moaned extremely loudly as he sank all the way in and hit my gspot. He immediately started pounding me and I was in complete bliss. My eyes rolled into the back of my head as he whispered, "You like that?". I knew with the way he was talking to me and how hard he was fucking me, I wasn't going to last long. His head fell to my shoulder as he continued to thrust into me. I racked my nails down his back over and over again as he relentlessly hit my spot. "Kells, I'm about to come!" I moaned out as I dug my nails into his skin. "I know baby, I am too" I could feel his breath on my neck and it was pushing me even closer. Then he changed angles without warning and I knew I couldn't hold on any longer, "Yes right there, just like that" I screamed as he never let up; he continually thrust into me as I felt myself tighten around him and explode. I came so hard I think I blacked out for a second but I felt Colson release right after I did. He kept going for a few more minutes while we rode out our orgasms. When we were finally done he collapsed on top of me and I immediately went back to massaging his scalp. He nuzzled his face into the crook of my neck as I rubbed his head. Then, as if on cue, we both breathed out, "Holy fucking shit". We laughed for a minute and then he reached over the edge of the couch and grabbed my shirt to clean us both off with. "Hey, that's my shirt!" I whined as he wiped me clean. "Actually, this was my shirt that I gave to you." He said, laughing. And he was right it was his shirt, he'd given it to me so long ago that I forgot it used to be his. "Well still, what am I gonna wear on the way home?" I laughed but it slowly faded out as he looked up at me and threw the shirt to the floor. He turned to the side and motioned for me to curl up next to him which I did. Then he grabbed my chin so I was looking up at him, "This is your home, you aren't going anywhere ever again.". He laid an innumerable amount of kisses on my face before continuing, "I'm not gonna hurt you again I promise." He kissed me again but this time it was full of passion. I didn't know if he was going to keep that promise or not but one thing I was sure about was that he loved me and I loved him. "I love you" I whispered as I kissed him back. "I love you too, now let's go to bed." He picked me up and carried me all the way upstairs to our bedroom. He cut off the lights, lit a candle, and then lit a blunt and that's how we spent the rest of the night. Who knows what our future holds; but for now, the hole in my heart is filled again and there isn't anyone else who I would want to be filling it.

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