Let me paint you a picture. It's date night. We have hired a babysitter. We go to a weird experimental theatre show in an old vhs video store (don't ask). I've had some wine and on the way home we stop in for a kebab, a donair kebab to be exact.
Do I want Sauce? Of course, what am I a monster? Who doesn't love tahini and hummus and all the amazing sauces of the Middle East?
Dear reader let me warn you, this was no normal sauce. This was an "east coast" donair which here in Canada brings a whole world of disgusting to your mouth. That sauce? It's condensed milk, mixed with vinegar and garlic powder. Yes, you read that right.
It was like eating a powdered donut meatloaf. It was a pita filled with things that never should have touched. I truly felt like I got punk'd.
But this is a regional specialty!! This is a thing Canadians brag about!!! Maritime donair! Nova Scotian donair! Dessert donair!!!
Canada I am holding a referendum on your sauces.
Exhibit a. Halifax donair sauce: Vinegary condensed milk. No.
Exhibit b. Pizza pizza sauce: essentially congealed mayonnaise with weird herbs. Nope.
Exhibit c. Chicken sauce from Swiss Chalet: a watery tomato vinegar gravy that feels like someone is cutting corners in the back. And you all are obsessed with this one which makes it a hard no for me.
Exhibit d. Poutine. Delicious, good job! But I feel like French Canada gets the credit for this one.
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Apartment "Eh?": An American's Adventures In Canada
Non-FictionHi y'all. Last year I quit my job, married a Canadian, and uprooted my entire life - old typewriters, vintage costumes and all - to Toronto. We called it our Canadian adventure and we're living in Apartment A, or as we call it, Apartment "Eh?" Co...
