More Than A Class

Chapter 3

"Well, you must be Dana Scully. Welcome to psychology."

"Thank you..."

I walked towards the back of the classroom with a form in my hand and sat on the empty desk besides her.

"I'll go over the rules with you after class, but do you mind me asking why you were late?"

"Oh.. I-it's complicated... it's not just your class... I missed the first two periods..."

I nodded. She was holding something back, she was holding a lot back, and the psychologist in me was dying to get all of it out. You could tell she was in pain, but I was huge on respecting privacy.

"Well, Dana. Today the class is filling out these forms to help me with research for a novel I'm writing. You are allowed to skip questions and such if you would like. No pressure, but please have it to me by the end of the day."

She nodded, "Yes Sir."

Dana Scully's point of view

Yes sir. The words for some reason echoed in my mind. Those words brought me back to a night so long ago that I will never escape. A night so bad that brings me to the darkest part of my life. A night any child would wish to forget.

"Dana? Dana are you alright?" He laid his hand on my arm, and I shook it off quicker than anything in my life.

"Oh, I'm sorry. You spaced out. Dana are you alright? I'm a psychologist, not just a psychology teacher."

"Yeah, I'm fine. Thank you." I smiled softly and nodded. I had almost perfected it now, the whole 'smile and nod and they'll think your happy' thing. It's easy. It's easy except for when it's hard. It's hard when you're extremely broken inside. It's hard when you're me.

For the rest of the period I did one of two things. Stared at Mr. Mulder or attempted to fill out the form. I did it as honestly as I could. He needed research on what the teenage brain was like? We'll instead, he's getting what my brain is like. Usually I would lie on these. I'd pretend I was normal and happy, but I was tired of lying. I lied to everyone about my emotions. Even Monica. I lied because no one could help me. No one would be able to save my from my life.

But today, I wasn't able to lie anymore. I needed to tell the truth, so I did. It was a cry for help. I was reaching out for help. Gasping for air. I was drowning in a pool of my own tears and today was finally the day that I tried to get out.

Just before the bell rang, I stood up and walked to his desk. I handed him the paper, avoiding all eye contact, and walked back to my desk. I was nervous. Would he read it now? Wait till after school? Do it during a free period? I didn't know. And that scared me.

For the rest of the class period, which was only about 5 minutes, I looked back and forth from my desk to Mr. Mulder's. But I wasn't the only one, he was staring at me. There was something about him. Something that I loved. Something that I needed to know about.  Something that I craved the answer too. But at the same time, it frightened me. What if he was just like the others? What if he couldn't help? What if he wasn't the answer?

As the bell rang, I stood up and  gathered my things. I felt his eyes on me as I walked towards the exit.

"Dana?"

I took a breath and looked to him, "yes?"

"Come by after school, please."

I nodded softly, seeing the concern in his eyes. That look on his face didn't leave my head once since I left his room. All day, every class I was in, he was in my head. Nothing else.