I woke up to Anthony hugging my waist. The sun was shining through my curtains. Anthony was still sleeping. He looked perfect even when he was sleeping.
We soon all got up and made our way downstairs for breakfast. Anthony holding my hand the whole time.
"Guys I need a boyfriend" Jada said making us both laugh.
"You can't laugh." She got all serious.
"Maybe Anthony could hook you up" I turned to Anthony. He looked at me nervously.
"Uh sure" He said smiling like a dork. I giggled.
"Do you have your mind on anyone?" I asked Jada.
"Um, I mean, I guess Jaden is kind of cute" she said blushing.
"Oh my gosh you guys would be so cute together!" I said and Anthony nodded in agreement.
"You really think so?" She said smiling.
"Of course"
*
My sister came downstairs again. She looked nervous. I don't know why.
"Paige can I talk to you?" She said.
"Yeah sure" I got up and walked upstairs to her room. I was nervous and I didn't know what she was going to say.
We sat down on her bed and fidgeted with her fingers staring at the ground. She looked up at me and started speaking.
"I know you love Anthony. And it hurts me because I liked him for awhile. Even though I never knew him like you do, whenever I watched his videos I felt that connection. And I've watched him for so long that it was part of my life and it was taken from me so fast. Part of me knew it was just going to be a fantasy, but i miss that fantasy. And it felt good knowing there was a chance. That I could still be with him. Deep down I knew he wouldn't love me. But that fantasy was gone in the blink of an eye. It feels like he cheated on me that's how much I liked him. You don't understand how hard it is watching you cuddle with Anthony. It hurts. Physically. But I need to get over it. I want you to be happy. Well, I want him to be happy. Seeing him smile makes me smile. Even though I've only seen videos, I've never seen him so happy. The way he looks at you. The way his smile isn't just any other smile. It's love. True love. And I want that. I want it so bad." She started tearing up. I can see the pain in her eyes. Her voice was cracking. I hurt my little sister.
"I'm so sorry Natalie. I didn't want this to happen. I didn't. I couldn't help myself. I'm not going to go into details because it will hurt you worse. But just know I did this for him. I'm not doing this out of hatred or jealousy. I actually wanted you to be with Anthony. I tried so hard not to fall. But Natalie. I fell hard. You don't understand how hard I tried to not think of him. To not yearn for his love. But I failed. I gave in. Im sorry." We were both crying now.
"It's ok" she whispered. She wrapped her arms around my neck and we hugged. It was sisterly love. I'm glad we are opened up and understand each other. I know how hard it is for her. Imagine losing Anthony. I can't.
*
luvanthony
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