The Pain In Love: A Jemi story

Chapter 3

Demi's POV

I hold the frame close to my chest like I always do before lights out. I set down the frame on the lamp stand next to the bed and stare at the photo inside it. It was a picture of Joe and I after going to Disneyland with our Mickey mouse ears that we bought each other. That day was one of the bet days of my life, we just found out that we had feelings for each a couple days before. That was like our second date, and I never had more fun in my life. I crawl into bed turning out the lights beforehand, the darkness in the room makes me uncomfortable. I sometimes asked Joe to come to my hotel room while on the tour when I felt lonely at night. He said he would just stay and hold me until I feel asleep, but when I woke up in the morning he was asleep next to me still holding me. I miss his strong arms at night, I used to think that he protected me from my inner demons. I still think that, I just wish he was still here to protect me. I have the urge to cut my wrists so bad right now that I have to squeeze tightly on to a portion of the blanket thats on me. The people here tell me that when I have the urge to cut, that I should think of one thing that truly makes me happy. Well in my case there are two things that make me turkey happy, music and Joe. And right now I can't have Joe, and its lights out right now so I can't play my guitar. I just...I just hate life. I'm not worthy of it.

I wake up late the next day realizing my supervisor Connie let me sleep in, usually we have a schedule. I've only have been here for a little over a week, but this change is weird. Suddenly my door opens and Connie walks in with a tray of food.

" What's this? " I ask sitting up on my bed.

" I'm going to make sure you eat this morning. " she says smiling giving me the tray by placing it in my lap, then sitting in the chair next to my bed.

" What do you mean? I always eat. " I lie taking a bite from my toast to prove it, but with that one bite I feel like I'm gonna gain ten pounds.

" Demi, do you really think I haven't had other girls like you? Do you not think that I can't detect a lie? " she says raising her eyebrows.

I take another bite even though it disgusts me, I'll just throw it up later. I am forced to eat the whole plate which makes me sick. I am forced to live another torturous day without him. Is this how my life will be like from now on?