Murder at the Motel ( an IT collection )

Ceilings (Reddie)

"I don't think I've ever been in love."

Those were the first words that the boy in the glasses had spoken in the last hour, which made this companion turn and look at him with a confused expression. "Where did that come from?" The smaller one of the two said, his eyebrows furrowing in confusion and his mouth setting into a thin line that aged his face. Both were young, although the shorter of the two looked significantly younger than his companion, due to the way that the thick, jam-jar glasses that sat upon the nose of the taller one aged him.
The dark haired boy, Richie, shrugged and frowned slightly, pushing his glasses up his nose to make sure they perched correctly on his face. "I mean- I guess it was to that shit we were talking about earlier", he said, running a hand through his hair and tapping against the side of the frame of his glasses. Eddie sighed softly and rubbed his eyes, stretching out on the bed that they were currently sitting on, "oh- that." He said, sighing, "But you really don't think you've ever been in love?"

Richie shrugged and paused before shaking his head, "I mean- I've felt love, once, but I don't think I've ever been in love." He said with a small laugh, stretching out next to his friend, "Just forget it. It's stupid anyway."

Eddie' shoulders fell and a solemn look passed over his face, "I sure as hell know what that feels like." he muttered softly, trying to paint a small smile on his features when his companion turned to face him, but failing miserably. "Wait, what?" Richie said as he pushed up his glasses, using them to stare at his friend questioningly. Eddie took another shaky, yet deep, breath and sat up, facing away from his friend that was lying on the bed next to him- "I think I'm in love with someone."

His friend shot up so fast that he became dizzy, but despite that, he turned to face Eddie, "again- Wait, what? Who's the lucky lady?" He said, elbowing the smaller boy in the side. Eddie refused to look at him, playing with his inhaler in order to avoid having to look at the only person he thought he could trust with this information.

"That's just it... I know for a fact that they don't like boys."

At that, the trashmouth of the group let out a harsh laugh, running his hand through his hair, "well aren't you a poor fucker, you fell for a lesbo."
Eddie turned pale at that statement, his shaking hands eventually dropping the inhaler, which he scrambled to pick up. He moved the inhaler to his quivering lips and took a deep breath as he pressed down to let air out of the canister. He knew he was kidding himself if he thought he wouldn't have to use his inhaler during this conversation. In all honestly, he didn't know what his reaction was going to be- whilst it was true that they were best friends, and that they told eachother everything, Eddie had kept this secret for a long time, and he sure as hell wasn't going to tell anyone while he wasn't ready. This is something that he had debated about for hours, unable to come to a decision about either informing his friend, or leaving him in the dark like everyone else. Eventually, he decided that he needed to tell him, even though he didn't know what his reaction would be like, simply due to the fact that he couldn't keep such a big part of himself hidden from his best friend.

"Richie, I'm gay."

He said the words before his brain had time to process what he was doing. He knew that this was the moment where he either gained an ally for life, or lost his best friend. This was something that he had made peace with long ago.
Of course, he had imagined it from both outcomes - either he would embrace him, accepting to all, or look at him with contempt and disgust. And this, of course, was why Eddie now stood with his head in his hands, refusing to look up and see the reaction of what now may be his former friend. He sighed, half expecting noises of disgust and anger to follow from the dark haired boy's mouth.

But they never came. The angry, disgusted phrases never left Richie's mouth, and they both sat in silence for a few minutes. Eddie slowly uncovered his eyes, face red, as he turned to look at his friend. Richie's eyes did not hold any malice or disgust, instead, they simply looked quizzical.

"I'm so deeply in love with this boy, but I know for a fact that he doesn't like men." Eddie began, taking a shaky breath and sitting next to his best friend. Richie nodded, nonverbally asking him to continue with what he was staying. "I've been friends with him too long to even want to potentially ruin it by telling him. I've decided that I'd rather just be friends than lose him altogether, I guess." He continued, running a hand through his hair and giving his companion a pained smile, "I don't think I'll ever tell him, you know? It won't do any good for either of us. It'll just make things worse. It's like... he's too perfect for me. Like he's some kind of untouchable angel. Others would say he's cocky, but I think he just has this air about him that oozes charisma and confidence. Maybe that's what attracted me to him in the first place. He had what I wanted."

"Who is he?" Richie spoke for the first time since Eddie had confessed his feelings, his voice slightly shaky and horse. Eddie snapped his head around to face his friend, shaking his head furiously, "Richie, I can't tell you. Believe me, I want to, but I can't." He said softly, biting his lip until blood began to seep from the tooth shaped mark on his bottom lip. For once, Richie nodded understandingly, deciding not to push the matter further. He knew Eddie would talk to him about it as soon as these feelings began to bother him again. "Well, you know that I'm always here for you to talk to, if you need it, right? And besides, that guy would be an idiot if he rejected you. He's the luckiest fucker in the world to have your affections." He laughed softly, giving the smaller boy a tender bump on his shoulder with his fist. With that, Eddie began to grin at the thought that he had his best friend's acceptance. He knew that even though Richie had not voiced his acceptance towards him, that didn't mean that he didn't care. Richie had always been a man of few words - only when it mattered though. Other times, it was way too hard to shut him up.

"Thank you for this, Richie." He said, lying next to his best friend, their hands mere inches away from each other. Eddie wanted nothing more than to move his hand closer to Richie's, grab onto it, and hold it for dear life. But that would mean Richie would know.

They stayed like that for the next hour, so close, but with a wall between them both. By the time Eddie's curfew rolled around, the shorter Male had made peace with the fact that although the resident trashmouth had accepted him, he would never feel the same way. It took every fibre of his being not to stay next to him, tracing his most prominent facial features with his index finger and whispering sweet nothings into his ear. But Eddie knew he couldn't do that, pulling himself from the bed and putting his backpack on. Richie sat up and looked at his friend, "you've got me in your corner, okay germboy." He said softly, giving his best friend a thumbs up as Eddie turned to leave.

"See you tomorrow?" Eddie said as he opened the door and turned to face the recipient of his affections. Richie smiled at his friend and nodded, "see you tomorrow." He said, his smile falling as the door closed.

Richie sighed and lay down on his bed, looking at the ceiling with a solemn expression. All he wished for was for Eddie to talk about him like that.

____

Welcome to my brain at 2am. This is the garbage that comes out of it.

I've written this on the notepad app on my old and shitty iPhone, so if there are grammatical or spelling errors, it isn't me, it's the phone. Anyway, have fun with the teen angst you just read. Who doesn't love some unrequited love?