Breaking Up With My Bank

A few years ago, I changed my job and got a new salary account opened. Since I didn't want to be bothered with having too many bank accounts, I wanted the salary account of my previous company closed. Those were also the days when the government was after black-money hoarders. One of the rumors doing the rounds was that people having more than one bank account would be punishable by law. Well, I had six bank accounts and felt like a criminal the police were waiting to lay their hands on. In public places – in shops, malls, etc, I would open my wallet on the sly lest some whistle-blower reported the excessive number of bank cards I was holding. Well, the police never got me, partly because there was not much in those accounts anyway. However, I didn't want to take any chance and decided to close the salary account of my last company as a first step toward having a clear conscience.

If you think getting a bank account closed is easy, think again! Breaking up with my ex had been easier. I reached the bank prepared to deliver the bad news to them. But when I told an employee of my request, she seemed to take it as a personal slight. She asked me the name of my new bank and I might be wrong, but I could see her eyes glint with jealousy. If she knew the exact amount of money in that account, she might not be so jealous.

In order to deter me, she listed to me a number of obstacles in my way of getting the job done. There were a number of formalities, including linking all my identity cards to the bank. Though I wondered why this was required when this need had never risen before.

When I still seemed unmoved in my determination, she had no choice but to refer me to the manager. I went to him hopefully, but this man seemed even more heartbroken that I was seeking to close my account in his bank. Though he did not present me with roadblocks, he tried to talk me out of the heinous act. And man, did I fall for it!

The trick he used is the one Indian parents have an expertise in – not forcing you against your will but only wanting your good and trying to make you see that what they are thinking is only for your good. You can stand in the face of brute force, but can you oppose someone who is concerned only with you own good? Well, I could not! The bank manager presented me with a plethora of benefits I would enjoy if I maintained an account in his bank. Had I ever had any problem with this bank? Why did I then want to move out of the family.

Judge me all you can, but I came out of the bank without getting the account closed and with a list of reasons why I should get my friends and relatives to open accounts in this bank too!