A Spaceman

Chapter 16--The beginning of the beginning

"I will love you, forever," Tess says, wrapping her arms around Soren. He leans against her amicably, his little head pressed against her chest. "But mommy has to go away, maybe forever. Because if she doesn't, somebody really, really awful might come after us. and mommy is the only one who can make him go away."

He nods and looks up at her and she kisses his head. He isn't talking. I said hello to him earlier. She said he didn't talk. And I haven't heard a peep out of him in the entire day we'd been there.

"She loves that kid," Quentin says, from behind me.

"I can't believe she's doing this," I say, turning from the window where I was watching her give her little boy a final goodbye. We are almost ready for take off. Clarisse sits on a stool, fiddling with the helmet we've found for her. She and Tess get helmets, I'll fly without. I have before.

"She's got spirit. She'd probably have done it before, but she didn't have any way of flying," Quentin observes, "Got more than a few tricks up her sleeve."

"What do you mean?" I ask.

"I wouldn't trust that girl, if I were you, but then again I'm not you," Quentin says, shrugging, "She's her father's daughter, remember that."

"You think she's got another motive?" I ask.

"I think she could have a couple, but I still think she's going to get you where you need to go," he says, shrugging.

"I don't think she's bad," I say.

"And you know that how?" he asks.

"Just a feeling," I say, "I'm going to go and talk to her."

"Go for it," he says.

"Okay," I say.

"You wanna go see some old guns?" he offers Clarisse.

"Sure," she says, eagerly.

"Ris, don't touch anything," I say, going out the door. When I go out, Tess is sitting, watching the little boy play a few feet away in the sand. He is playing with one of those lizards, like the one Quinn had. I almost smile.

"The ship ready, then?" she asks, not looking up.

"May I?" I ask, nodding to the place on the ground next to her.

"Free universe so they say," she says, shrugging.

"Why are you doing this, really?" I ask, sitting down next to me, "You didn't get righteous all of a sudden."

"You think you know a lot, don't you?" she asks, raising her eyebrows.

"I know you love that kid," I say, nodding at the little boy who is laughing as he jumps for a lizard.

"He's Titus' son," she says, flatly.

"What? But you're his----," I break off.

"Yeah, think about that for a while," she scoffs, looking away from me.

"You're his daughter, you said," I say, shaking my head.

"I am," she says, nodding, "And that's his son. And mine."

"You---," I break off again.

"Yeah," she says, nodding, then she looks up at the setting suns off over the mountains, "He didn't rape me. That's what I told Quentin, and the doctors. But it isn't true. I wanted to. I wanted to see if he'd do it. I think he wanted to see if I would. We're kind of messed up. Both of us."