Nandito ako sa school ngayon. Ang ganda ng school na ito. Nung una nga, hindi pa ako makapaniwala na nandito na ako sa Canada. Nahihiya din akong makipag usap sa ibang estudyante dito. I felt so awkward. Pero nang makilala ko si Margarette, half-pinay, half Canadian, doon na ako parang naging komportable kasi nakakaintindi siya ng tagalog pero hindi siya masyadong nagsasalita ng tagalog.
Where are you? Text ko sa kanya kasi nagkasundo kaming magkita sa school. Then we're going to watch movie. Hindi pa din niya alam na uuwi na kaming Pilipinas kaya baka sabihin ko na din sa kanya mamaya.
I'm here at the bench. Come here. I'm waiting. Pagkabasa ko ng text niya dumiretso na ako sa oval ground kasi nandoon yung mga bench at hinanap siya. Panay ang tingin ko sa mga nakaupo sa bench. Marami kasi nagtatambay ng ganitong oras sa bench eh. Nakita ko siya na nakasandal sa isang punuan na nakadikit sa bench. Parang ang lalim ng iniisip niya pero di ko nalang pinansin. Dahan-dahan ko siyang nilapitan kasi gugulatin ko siya. Pero nang gugulatin ko na sana siya, bigla siyang lumingon sa likod niya. Napa stop naman ako dahil doon. Clueless siyang tumingin sakin.
What are you doing? Tanong niya sa akin na clueless pa din ang mukha at unti-unting tumawa. Ang tanga-tanga kasi ng mukha ko tapos may payuko-yuko pa akong nalalaman. Hahahaha. Tumayo na ako ng tuwid at natatawa na din sa kalukuhan ko. Agad na akong lumapit sa kanya at binigyan siya ng yakap. Nung bumitaw ako tinignan niya ulit ako nang nakakunot ang noo.
I was just about to surprise you! Hahaha I am so epic, you know?! Sabi ko sa kanya sabay tawa ulit. Umupo na kaming dalawa sa bench.
So, that’s it?! You just want to surprise me? Hahaha are you serious?! sabi niya habang tumatawa ulit.
Hahaha what’s wrong with it? I just want to make fun. Ang seryoso mo kasi. Hahaha. Anong oras ba yung movie na sinasabi mo? Tanong ko habang sinusuklayan ng kamay ko ang buhok ko.
Hmm. I bought the ticket already for the 6pm showing. And it’s still 2pm so we still have 4 hours. Where do you want to spend our 4 hours? Tanong niya sabay labas ng phone niya from her pocket.
Oh, right! I have to tell you something. I think we’re going back to the Philippines. No, we will be staying in the Philippines for good. Sabi ko sa kanya na nakayuko. Nalulungkot din kasi ako kasi siyempre, malalayo na naman kami at saka mamimiss ko din dito.
What?! Really? But why? Sunud-sunod niyang tanong sa akin.
That’s what my mom have been planning. Tumingin ako sa kanya. And she already bought our tickets so I think there’s no turning back now. She said she wants me to be with my daddy. You know? My biological father? Nakwento ko na din sa kasi sa kanya yung tungkol sa pamilya ko. Alam niya din yung tungkol sa ex-boyfriend ko doon sa Pilipinas.
Yeah. So, are you happy? I mean, are excited? Kasi diba nandoon yung ex-boyfriend mo? What if magkita kayo doon? Naka move-on ka na ba? I mean, okay ka na ba? She asked.
Of course! After all it’s been 3 years. And it’s not like I am the one who cut the tie between us. So, I think I am okay. No, I will be okay! I said making myself believe that I will be okay with it. But honestly, I am still wondering about him.
Walang araw na hindi ko siya naisip. Walang araw na hindi ako nalulungkot knowing that he cut his connection with me. Actually, until now I still can’t believe that he’d cut the ties between us. Though I already warned myself about it. Pero, nagtiwala pa din ako sa kanya. Umasa pa din ako na mahihintay niya ako. Pero, wala eh. Maybe we’re just meant to cross paths and not meant to be.
I had so many what ifs for the past years. What if hindi ako sumama sa mommy ko dito sa Canada? What if magkasama pa din kami? What if hindi ko siya iniwan? Pero na realize ko na kung hindi ako sumama ky mommy dito, siguro hindi din ako magiging masaya.
Can you accompany me at the registrar? I need to request my documents since we will be flying December. I think we’re going to have our Christmas and New Year at the Philippines. I stand and waiting for her to stand also so we can go to the registrar’s office.
She looked at me as if there’s something she wants to tell me too. But then, she stand up and heaved a big sigh. Okay, let’s go. Then she cling onto my elbow and we started walking to the registrar.
Do you have something to say? It just look like you were about to say something. I asked because I don’t want her to feel that now that I’m going back to the Philippines, she can’t tell me anything that’s bothering her.
No, it’s nothing. Don’t worry about me. She said smiling at me. I don’t want her to feel alone because I am her only close friend her. I feel bad just thinking about that but me too, she’s also my only close friend here in Canada. Best friend, to be exact. Though we have circle of friends din naman pero mas close at malapit lang talaga kami sa isa’t-isa. Maybe because we’re both Filipinos? I don’t know but I really feel so comfortable with her.
Are you sure? Tumango siya at nag smile ulit sakin. Sinandal niya yung ulo niya sa balikat ko. Basta, if you need someone or you have a problem, just message or video chat me, okay? Just know I am still here every time you need to lean on. Sabi ko at sinandal na din ang ulo ko sa ulo niya since nakasandal naman yung ulo niya sa balikat ko.
Thank you Jewel. I’m going to miss you badly. Sabi niya at tumayo na ng maayos. Then we head straight to the registrar’s office.
I’m going to miss you too so bad, Margarette.
