Perrie's P.O.V.
As the cab draws nearer to my destination, I become more nervous about returning home, anxious about what awaits me. I haven't spoken to or heard from Zayn since the night I walked out, and there hasn't been any attempt on either of our behalves to reach the other. Given the state in which I left our shared home, distance in all forms was more than necessary; I was pissed, confused, felt betrayed, disgusted, and was literally sick. I, upon opening the door and stepping beyond the threshold, became violently ill to the point where I had to rid my body of the toxicity that was that situation. There was no way in hell that I was going to reach out to him before I was ready. I'm hoping that because I have not heard from him, he's been taking my advice and has been seriously thinking about all his actions—not just the cheating but the secrets and the incessant lying too. If not, I might have to sleep somewhere else tonight. Considering that I already spent nearly a week at Jade's, I'll have to reach out to someone else if it comes to it.
After five days of being her temporary roommate, I woke up this morning with enough courage to finally face my nightmare and decided it was time to go home. In addition to that, and probably more importantly, I didn't want to overstay my welcome. Not only was I sleeping on her couch, or sometimes in her bed if I managed to doze off there, but I was eating her food, using her water, and borrowing her clothes too; in my rush to leave my own home, I only packed a day's worth of clothes because, in that moment, I had only been thinking about that night and not any of the ones to come. There's also the mess that I was and the one I made after vomiting on her bed my second evening there. I feel awful for putting her through that much, and as I said, that was only on day two. In short, my five-day-stay could not have been an easy or stress-free one for her and making it any longer than that would've been completely inconsiderate on my behalf. So, today had to be the day.
I will admit, though, that briefly living with her was fun. Fortunately for me, we didn't have much of anything work-related to do, so I was able to finally relax: we watched a shit ton of tv, specifically her entire collection of Disney movies; we slept and ate a lot of junk, most of which we bought after a second trip to the supermarket; and we spent hours laughing, either at the tv or something that one of us had said or done that, in retrospect, wasn't actually that funny. It felt like a sleepover every night, or a much-extended one, and I never wanted it to end. My time in her flat helped me forget all about my problems—that I even had a home of my own to return to. The mini getaway felt natural and made me miss our post-xFactor days. All good things must come to an end, however, and now I'm only mere minutes from home.
Sighing as I am pulled back into reality, I begin thinking of what to say to him. I know I should try to remain as calm as possible, no matter what happens, and hear him out. If things start to go leftward, as in I can feel myself getting upset or he's still on his bullshit from a few days ago, I'm going to get out of there as fast as I can. I'll make sure my driver doesn't leave immediately after he drops me off, so I won't be stranded. Then, I'll probably head to either Leigh's or Jesy's with a lie about Zayn being away and not wanting to be alone or something. Honestly, I'd never seriously say this or use it as an excuse for anything, but I'm sure they'd be none the wiser. While I hope it doesn't come to this, I can't go wrong with having a smart escape route.
My somewhat meticulous planning is interrupted by the car's abrupt stop, signaling to me that we've arrived. I scramble out the backseat quickly, too engrossed in preparing myself for what's awaiting me behind the doors. In less than a second, the driver leaves before I have the chance to tell him to wait, speeding off with my half-baked backup plan. Groaning, I trudge up the stairs to unlock my door and cautiously step inside. Met with complete silence, I relax only a little; just because it's quiet doesn't mean I'm alone. As I tiptoe through each room, I check for any signs of Zayn and find none. No one is home.
