A Collection of Sanders Sides One Shots

Us Against The World | Demus

Art by sweetest-honeybee on Tumblr

Alternative title : Fitting In | Deceit Edition

TW : Homophobia, mentions of porn, verbal abuse, cursing, angst

Author's note : Deceit's name in this OS is Janus. I will change it if we get a name reveal. In the meantime, I hope you'll enjoy this OS ! c:

EDIT 2020.05.20 : Deceit's real name was added.

Human AU

Third Person POV

Janus always had a hard time to fit in. Through his life, he accumulated labels that only made his life harder. He always considered his existence a curse, as if someone up there hated him and wanted to see him suffer. Everything about him was seen as abnormal and unnatural by the society. First of all, there was his face. When he was younger, there was a gas explosion in his house. He was unfortunately there, half of his face burnt in the process. Doctors were proud to say that it was a miracle that he survived. Sometimes he wished he didn't. He was stared at anywhere he went, making him stay mostly at his house. He didn't go out a lot, but why would he anyway? He didn't have any friend. His entire school life had been characterized by rejection and bullying. He never learned to make friends. Neither did he learn to trust others. There was a guy once when he was a kid who tried to play with him. Janus enjoyed his company, it was nice to not be alone anymore, but it didn't last long. Peer pressure was too strong, and scared to be the next victim, he was gone the following day. The hardest part was hearing him insulting him the following week, to be accepted by the others.

Janus learned his first lesson. Humans are sociable creature and could die without it. People would do anything to feel accepted by the greater group, even if it means crushing the others who don't fit.

He ended up leaving school. However, he never stopped to learn. He would spend his days reading and searching new things on the internet. He couldn't satisfy his thirst of knowledge. He discovered himself a passion for snake and other reptiles. They were such impression creature. Whenever he would try to bring up the things he learned about reptiles, his sister would call him out for being a nerd. He thought it wasn't a bad label, but what hurt was the laughters of his family. They mocked him on everything he liked. They told him it was a stupid hyperfixation. And when he acted offended, they brushed him off by saying that it would go away anyway and that, looking back, he will also laugh at himself, thinking it was stupid.

Janus learned his second lesson. Everything and anything said will be submitted to others' judgement. And it didn't matter if it was welcomed or not.

He stayed at his family's house until he was finally considered an adult. It was around that time that he found out about his sexuality. It's not like he had the occasion of learning about it since he spent most of his journey inside his house, alone. He discovered it by surfing on the internet, finding more and more attractive men who would catch his eyes. And then, he wandered on some 18+ websites, confirming his sexual attractions. He never thought twice about it. He was really bad with social norms, since he never truly had a social life. Therefore, he didn't know much about the heteronormativity of the society. So, when his mother told him it was time for him to have a girlfriend, he casually answered that he wasn't interested in girls. He didn't know that about the shitstorm that was coming his way. Her mother screamed, insulted him, more than he ever was at school, and told him that no son of hers would be a fag. And nothing that Janus would say could change her mind, or even reach her ears.

Janus learned his third lesson. Humans hate to be proven wrong. Cognitive distortion can be such a powerful thing, making someone truly believe in their own lies and beliefs.