Panic Station

Panic Station ~ Prologue

Panic Station ~ Prologue

I am constantly torn between getting up every morning and having to face my fears head on, and just not waking up at all. The only issue with the latter, is that I would never top myself. I mean, it's all easy saying that I want out of the labyrinth, but I couldn't leave my parents childless.

Not even I'm that heartless and void of emotions.

But Truthfully, It would be nice to just not deal with any of the shit that seems to swarm my day-to-day life, you know? It may seem cowardly to an outsider, maybe even you? Probably. But trust me when I say that, to me, it's the farthest from cowardly you could physically reach. 

There isn't a day that goes by where I don't think about how I could just end it all without leaving a scar on my parents lives. (I have no friends to leave behind, so hurting them wouldn't be an issue I'd have to face.) But my parents are the loveliest people you could imagine. They're like the type of people who make you smile and laugh when all you want to do is just sob relentlessly into a pillow, wallowing in your own misery. 

You know in adverts or TV programs, where the women bake fresh muffins, cakes and other delicacies for their family, and are just generally immaculately presented, thoughtful and lovable? Well that's my mum. She's the very idea of 'World's greatest mother', and is happiness personified.

Moving onto my dad, who maybe could do with not stressing as much. I really feel bad for him sometimes, because the reason he stresses, is me. I am the reason both my parents over-stress actually. Personally, I'd go as far as saying that if I wasn't their child, they'd have kicked me out by now. But obviously, they can't do that.

I'm their son, and they're my parents. 

Most of the time I drive them insane, both with worry and frustration. I don't comunicate with anyone but them, I have no other friends, but them. Literally, my best friends are my parents, and they have been for years! But because I'm 18, my mum has decided that enough is enough, and I can't keep going on like that, going to school in my own little world of silence, not even muttering a 'hello' to anyone.

So she and my dad got talking, and they've decided to send me to a summer camp to make some friends.

Three months without them. 

Three whole months without my best friends. (Who, coincidental, are also my parents.)

I'm not going to cope with this. I'm going to panic and have a breakdown. It's happened before, and that's why I know it'll happen again. I don't want to fly the coup, I'm happy with things the way they are! Change, I hate you! I loathe you! 

Don't make me go? 

please?