Crocodile Tears

Ch. 7: A Moment of Warmth

My eyes met hers, but she swiftly averted her glance. Tears danced within the rim of her eyes, accentuated by the dazzling sunlight reflecting off them.

From the way she carried herself to the perfectness of her attire, everything about her spoke of poise and royal tranquility. Yet, she was hardly the empress that I imagined. Something felt off. Perhaps it was the air of nervousness she carried about her or the slight pursing of her lips as she struggled to initiate a conversation.

Finally, she closed her eyes, and two lines of tears silently ran down her cheeks. "My foolish daughter, why did you come back," she muttered, her voice softer than the fluffiest clouds. "I once said that I hoped you would understand our secret sorrows, but how I wish you were more selfish now."

"Empress, it is better if you speak inside," a cold voice shattered the brief moment of intimacy. It was that vile clerk again.

She nodded to his suggestion, and we followed him into a sitting area. It was an elegant place framed with watercolor paintings of bamboo, but the platefuls of red bean pastries on the table made me think I had accidentally walked into a pastry shop. Quite literally, the snacks came in every shape and color. Some were square, others were circular, and there was even a dish of red bean rice cakes.

"Your aunt and uncle said that they were your favorites," she gestured nervously. "Make yourself at home. After all, this is your real home."

When I didn't move, she hesitantly reached out and grabbed one at random, motioning to hand it to me. Halfway across the table, however, the pastry snapped in two, and the crumbs spilled all over.

There was yet another moment of silence. It wasn't that I hadn't wanted to talk with her, but simply put, I didn't know what to say. Bursting inside were countless questions, but at the surface, I could only gaze.

"How are your aunt and uncle?" She made another futile attempt for connection, drawing on the only known links we shared.

As if on cue, the door opened, revealing my flustered aunt and uncle. They cast hurried glances around, expressions of relief finally settling on their faces when they saw me. "YouShi, are you alright?" my aunt exclaimed, rushing over to embrace me, giving me a few hard pats on the back as she momentarily forgot that we were in the palace. From the corner of my eye, I could see the empress's smile fade away.

When we were finally all seated again, abruptly, the empress got on her knees and gave a solemn kowtow to my aunt and uncle. "Sister thanks you both for caring for YouShi all these years and doing my duties for me," she said sincerely. We were all stunned. It was unheard of for an empress to pay such high respects for anyone other than the emperor.

"Mother!" A'Yu and I exclaimed simultaneously. The word passed so naturally through me that I gave it no second thought.

Her eyes grew wide and watery, but her pretty face broke into a smile. "YouShi, what did you call me?"

"Mother," I repeated, crouching down next to her, my own voice shaking as I tried to hold back tears.

I was met by a crushing embrace. By any measure, it wasn't physically intimate. Her hands only hovered above the small of my back as if she was scared that I would disappear forever if she touched me. But at that split second, the world froze, and all I could hear were the beats of two drumming hearts entwined.

I felt a little nudge to my side. Looking down, I found A'Yu curling his arms around us, pouting that we had left him out. Somehow, that one action spoke so much more than the entirety of Princess MingZhu's hurtful words.

She shook her head in disbelief and hesitantly brushed my cheeks. "My precious daughter doesn't hate me. This must be my imagination. Oh Heavens, please let this dream continue forever."