My Journey

More Heartache

I was beginning to feel down on myself. Had I listened to mom none of that would have happened, I never would have had to have an abortion. The worst part is that I had to have an abortion because of it. Many people have judged me for having the abortion. Calling me and others like me murderers. While there are some women who have abortions just because, but most of us were there for legitimate reasons. For those who say abortion is the easy way out I will tell you that it isn't. You get stuck with needles in your stomach and you get stuff put inside of you. You have to take classes to make sure you are mentally stable and capable of making your own decisions. These involve seeing an abortion being performed. I was called all sorts of names. Slut, whore, murderer, skank plus more I can't even remember. I wish I could tell you that this experience taught me to listen to my parents but sadly it didn't. When I was 26 while working in dietary at a hospital in St. Louis, Mo, a patient befriended me. I was a different person back then. I needed attention so bad, that I allowed myself to get raped again over and over for 6 months. Many people have asked me why I didn't tell sooner then I did. I will tell you. I didn't tell because he said he would tell everyone that I initiated it, that he didn't want to. I believed him because he was the patient and I was the employee. I thought I would go to jail. This time I talked to the police. The male cop was very caring and compassionate. The lady cop on the other hand was as abusive as the man who raped me. She insisted that I was in a relationship with this man, that I was scared of my parents, that she had a brother with disabilities and he knows right from wrong. He even found out where I lived and raped me there too. I assure you I didn't tell him.