Area 51: Short story (Klance)

Chapter 1

This is literally just a crackfic for laughs, Idk if it'll be good or not. It's just for fun tbh :)

So maybe they were bored. Maybe they weren't actually serious. Lance, on the other hand, was completely bent on going to seem dem aliens. Hunk thought he knew it was a joke and Pidge didn't care either way; So they signed up along with him, but when all three of them got private dm's to meet at the Area 51 visitor center, they didn't know what to think...

As soon as Hunk got the message, he quickly backed out, stating  "Oh heck no, I'm only in on it for the memes! My Mom would kill me if she thought I was serious!" Whereas both Pidge and Lance gave each other a knowing look. "You wanna do it too, right?" Pidge asked her tall blue-eyed friend, "Is that even a question? OF FUCKING COURSE I DO! ALIENS?! SPACE SHIT!? SECRET ANIME CAT GIRLS?! Count me in!" Lance replied as he clapped his hand on the back of the small girl. 

From then on, the two geeks worked out a plan to infiltrate the fortified military base. Pidge was the brains, and Lance was the one going in. The gremlin was going to be stationed in the visitor center with Hunk, hacking past the technical defenses while Lance sneaks through.

The Day of the Raid, September 20

Hunk brings his two friends to the visitor center near the base in his yellow four-wheeler, wishing his suicidal friends luck on their mission. A group of about 30,000 people, maybe more, had gathered around in campers and tents to prepare for the event, showing the group just how crazy Americans can be.

Lances outfit was not the best for the mission, considering he would be sneaking into the base trying not to be seen; His outfit was your standard Otaku kimono and Naruto headband. Pidge, however, was well-prepared wearing a comfortable hoodie to sit with Hunk in and brought her small but high-tech computer with a self-made, wireless hacking device (I know, so original lmao). 

The raid was supposedly canceled by the original poster, but clearly other people didn't get the memo and showed up in the planned "battle" formation. Anyone named Kyle or Karen was placed in the front whereas the weeaboos/ otakus flanked them. The rest were to be cannon fodder (not that they knew that, however). 

As the group prepared to charge, Lance pulled out the walky-talky Pidge advised him to bring along and wiggled his way towards the front, blending in with the mix of Otakus. It's early in the morning and military personnel can already be seen in the distance...

In the blink of an eye, one brave soul shouts out and raises their fist in the air, screaming something about aliens, then leads the charge and causes Lance to become startled. 

"bzzt Hey Lance, when you have the chance, split off from the main group on the left and there should be a panel that is loose. Fortunately for you, they didn't find that their perimeter had a small breach. This leads to the ventilation system and I'll navigate you through it." is what Lance barely heard through the sounds of screaming Millenials.

But he heard enough to get where he needed to go, naruto running along with the crowd and screaming out with a war cry to force down the panicked feeling growing in his gut. The first shots rang out but it was the sound of either a stun gun or tranquilizers. Thank god! I thought people were actually going to be killed! he thought to himself as he started to diverge to his checkpoint. 

A few people collapsed into the dirt in front of him, dropping like flies while others weaved past them. As he grew closer to the broken panel, he skidded to a stop and did a tuck'n'roll maneuver in order to avoid a dart to his arm. Brushing himself off, he took a quick breath and continued his mad dash to the panel, nearly slamming into the wall it was on.

"Alright, Pidge! I'm here!" a few more people are heard falling nearby, "Shit! It's like no-mans-land out there! Do you just want me to pry the panel off and crawl in--" a handful people make it to the guards, postponing the fire of stun guns and tranq darts.