Into Darkness

s e v e n

s e v e n

THE DELICATE CACOPHONY of children's laughter rings throughout the lavish room, it's high ceilings echoing back their shrieks of delight with a softened gentleness to those of us below.

I sit obediently in the front of the classroom, silent, alongside two others. A huge part of me twinges in jealousy as the other children have their fun, but I know I can't join them. I have a reputation to uphold, even at a young age.

Beside me is a silent girl, always a shadow amongst the rest of us but with a quick-temper. Her name evades me as my younger brother nudges me playfully, shooting me a grin that's missing a couple teeth.

I'm about to smile back, when something dark trickles from the corner of his mouth. His eyes turn glassy when the crimson drips it's way off his chin, and his whole body goes slack. I feel a wave of horror wash through me, a scream building up in the back of my throat as blood starts to soak through his shirt.

Suddenly, I'm back at the balcony, and the sword is protruding from Damien's body. I don't tumble over the edge this time, instead rooted to the spot as my younger brother grins, his teeth stained red with his own blood.

My body starts to tremble, and I feel tears racing down my cheeks but I don't feel them. I'm too stunned, absolute terror sending my heartbeat into a frenzy but freezing me in place.

Everything starts to swirl around me, my name being called as if from leagues away, my body shaking.

"You could have saved me."

I wake with a sharp gasp, shooting upwards in the bed. A sharp stab of pain shoots through my chest but I hardly feel it past the pure terror that practically blinds me.

I flinch as arms suddenly encircle their way around me, but relax as I realize it's simply Carter. Even as he pulls me toward him, the blood roars in my ears, and even as he whispers calming words to me, I only hear the words my brother said.

You could have saved me.

I feel a tear leak from the corner of my eye, and find myself clinging to him tighter, a sob building up in my throat. There's still that lingering panic remaining. I feel my breathing coming tighter as the words seem to be echoing around me.

Without saying anything, Carter knows what to do. He keeps one arm curled around me, but with his other takes one of my hands and presses it against his heart. It has an immediate effect.

The very steady beat of his heart gives me stability as if I was free falling and I just hit the ground. I match my swift breaths to his heart, leaning my head against his shoulder and the panic fades and just this bone tired weariness sets in.

For the last two years, I've had nightmares that have tormented me day and night. Near the beginning, after we had just fled the palace, I had seen Damien everywhere. As we walked the streets, I seemed to see his playful smile. Sometimes the memory of his death would take me by surprise. One moment I'd be washing dishes and the next I'm in that terrifying hallway, watching as the blade comes down onto his unprotected body.

Somehow, as time passed, the daytime visions lessened but my nightmares have never gone away. Just when I think I've freed myself from them, dreaming of a mundane day in class as a child, it quickly turns. My sleep has been plagued by these memories, something only ever chased away by the searing taste of alcohol that when drunk enough of, makes me forget about everything.

I itch for a glass of ale right now, fatigue washing over me from the uneasy sleep and as the pain in my stomach starts to return with a vengeance.