Between The Lines [Janet & Aja]

38

Aja
October 23rd

Amirah hadn't popped up as much here lately. Maybe here and there if I find myself getting sad. Janet's been making me jog, which in a weird way has been helping. I kind of owed her one since I tried to drown myself in her tub, ya know? The least I could do was take a daily jog with her. She'd been talking to me everyday and I can't lie and say someone listening wasn't helping me, because it was. 

My eyes were tracing my reflection in the mirror of the restroom and this time I found myself calling out. "Amirah.."

She appeared when I asked and it kind of surprised me. She smiled softly before asking, "Yes?"

"Where have you been?" I questioned softly.

"Around." She mumbled as she studied me with that same smile. "How're you?"

"I'm okay. How're you?"

"Better now that you're getting better. That wasn't really your question though, ask me what you really want to ask me."

The question fell off my tongue slowly for it made my heart beat speed up. I was scared of what she'd say. "How do I let you go?"

Amirah smiled fully. "You're ready?"

I nodded as we made eye contact. "I'm ready."

"You're going to keep your promises?"

"It may not be done by tomorrow, but yes, I will. I'm holding you back from your true light. I've got to let you be, Amirah."

She nodded. "Well then, you never went to my funeral. You've never visited my grave. To let me go, you've got to do your hardest task. Go there Aja. You'll find your peace." Before I could say anything else, she mumbled. "This is it my love, I'll always love you but I won't be popping up anymore. You've got this, this battle you're fighting won't defeat you. Keep strong and keep pushing. Don't compare her to me, we are two different beings but that woman loves you. More than even my words can express. She's on your team, trust me. I love you."

"I love you too." I replied back softly. It was time to let her be free. I would be okay. This had to get done eventually because I couldn't keep her rooted here for long.

"Goodbye my love." Amirah kissed me on my cheek and surprisingly I felt it. She smiled and sent me one last wave. She disappeared from my sight as soon as she did. My fingertips guided over where she'd kissed me.

Sighing, I felt something become lighter on my chest and nodded to myself in the mirror. I wanted to feel lighter, but I knew some weight was still there.

Walking out the restroom, I went to leave the room but Janet was walking in. "Aja—." She stopped when she noticed me coming out the bathroom. "Hey."

"Hey. You have somewhere to go?"

She shook her head. "Nope. Other than practice at 6."

It was merely 11 am. "We will be back by then. Come with me somewhere."

Janet didn't hesitate go to agree. "Alright. Where we going?"

"To Amirah's parents." I answered truthfully.

I noticed Janet's eyes widened before she nodded. "Alright then."

The car drive there wasn't tension filled but still was filled with silence. The only sound heard was coming from the radio as I drove. It was mostly because I was trying to figure out what to say to her parents. I knew they were probably worried sick, and I deserved to be chewed out but they would never do that. Not Amirah's parents, they seemed to love me like they were my own parents themselves.

It took a hour to get there, for they lived on the outskirts of LA. When I pulled into the driveway, I took a deep breath before putting the car in park and unlocking the door. "I'll be right back."

Getting out, I walked up to the front doors and knocked. It was a few moments before the door unlocked. My eyes met with Pops as he stared at me blankly. I opened my mouth to speak but he pulled me into his embrace before I could. "You don't apologize for anything. You hear me girl? You needed time. We aren't mad at you about anything. We were just worried sick."

"Keith! Whose at the door?" Momma Denise asked as she made her way to the front also. When we made eye contact she smiled softly. "Hi my baby."

"Hi Momma Denise."

Pops let me go just for me to go into Momma D's embrace next. We rocked as she rubbed my back. "How are you my sweet?"

"I'm alright. I'm better than I was." I replied honestly.

She nodded as we released. "That's good love. That's good. I'm cooking if you're hungry or if you wanna stay."

"I'm okay Momma. I actually just came to get the address to Amirah's grave. I know you sent it to me but I lost it. I gotta go see her."

Momma Denise nodded. "Keith go get her the key." He disappeared around the corner and she spoke to me. "She's in a mausoleum. You'll see it, it's a marble stone. White and black. You won't be able to miss her."

"Okay."

"You remember the way to the movies?"

"The drive in? Where you guys took us?"

"Yep. She's right after the movies in the big cemetery. She's close to the road. After you pass the movies up, look to the right. You'll see my baby." Momma Denise finished explaining as soon as Pops came back.

He handed me keys and my face furrowed. Pops clarified. "That's the keys to open the doors. Balloons are outside of it, but we think you'd want to go inside."

Nodding, I smiled softly at them. "Thank you. I'll bring the keys back."

"Oh no, that's your set. We have our set. We've been waiting for you to come by. We knew you would eventually and we all know Amirah would want you to have the keys as well. That's your set. No matter what happens, or who you love next, you will always be our daughter. Your remember that." Momma Denise told me honestly.

"So don't go trying to shake us anytime soon." Pops joked lightly.

My smile had never dropped. "I would never. I'm sorry I ghosted, I know you guys understand why I did, but I still want to say sorry."

"We know honey. Don't hold that weight. You were forgiven a long time ago." She responded as we hugged again. "I'll speak with you soon, yes?"

"Yes ma'am."

"Good. Stay in touch." She instructed me and I knew she was serious. "You loved my daughter, and Hell will freeze over before I ever forget how happy you two made each other. Pops and I know that eventually you'll move on, but you don't go on and forget about us. We're still your in laws, married or not."

Nodding, I replied. "I know Momma Denise. I won't forget about you all. I promise."

"One last hug before you go." Pops came over and hugged me tightly before letting me go. "Alright. Go ahead now. We don't wanna keep you here too long."

I waved at them as I left out the house. Getting back into the car, Janet asked me a question as I backed out of their driveway. "How'd it go?"

"Good but that was expected. They're like my second set of parents. That wasn't the part that's gonna be hard."

"What's gonna be hard then?"

"Going to her grave." I mumbled shortly as I put the car into drive and drove away from the house in direction of the drive in movie.