Sliced Trees and Dead Words

44 - Humour me, mate. How long did it take you to fall in love with her?

- DALEN -

Luna was undoubtedly my reason to live; but Wolfe was the reason I lived as long as I did.

I knew the very moment I met Wolfe that he was the man destined to fully capture the best heart in the world, even without having learned the kismet level coincidence that was their names.

And boy, did I fucking hate him for it.

It didn’t last long, though, because the more I learned about him, the more I came to realise that no matter what happened with me, my precious Luney would be okay.

This was the second epiphany that would come to shape my life.

Still. I’ll admit, I was selfish as fuck when it came to Luna. I wanted her to myself and I didn’t yet know how to share her. Or maybe I did, but I just didn’t want to. Both are equally as likely as each other at this point.

When I would go to visit Luna, Wolfe would ask whether I wanted him to come, too; likely because he didn’t trust that I wouldn’t do anything stupid with my own life or with Luna’s, who, even without knowing her personally, he felt the need to protect. I can only imagine how much worse he’s gotten since actually meeting her.

Humour me, mate. How long did it take you to fall in love with her? I’m guessing it was one giggle, one cuddle with Medusa, a beer, that first argument, her brown lipstick, and maybe a flash of leg? You always were a leg man, and Luna’s are pretty damn great.

I’m laughing as I write this because I’m so sure that she pissed you off within two seconds of speaking with her, but that you were quietly energised by actually having someone to fight with who was a lot more rational and pretty than me. Probably not at first, though. I imagine she was pretty distraught and angry at me in the beginning so would have fought you pretty hard on everything, and I know first-hand how irate she can be when she gets on a roll. But knowing you, you would have just let her go, accepted all those verbal blows that she fired at you because I wasn't there to cop it myself, and tempered her rage within a day. Two, at most, I’m guessing.

She’ll have been as weak to you as you are her, mate. But don’t let that fool you. Winning Luna’s heart isn’t an easy feat by any stretch of the imagination. It’s as well protected as they come, and when she opens it to you, Wolfey, treasure it. I know you will, better than anyone else, but it’s my duty as her best friend to threaten harm upon you if you were to ever hurt her. I won't be there to deliver the blows myself, but I'm hoping your conscience as a good, loyal mate will do the trick for me if you ever even thought of fucking her over.

This is the first and only warning of this kind I’ve ever given, and you know why? Because none of those pathetic douchebags she’s dated in the past ever came close to mattering enough to cause her any real harm. They’ve done a number on her self-confidence, sure. But she never cared about them enough for it to have had any real impact on her, even when she had herself convinced otherwise.

You, however, have the potential to destroy her worse than even I ever could.

And yes, I’m fully aware of the irony in that as I know why you’re reading this, and she’ll have been hurting a whole lot since you told her I was gone.

But I'm not you, mate. This loss of me she'll survive in time. She's tough and resilient, and so capable of finding something positive even in the midst of grief and sadness.

But you, Wolfey; losing you would be like losing a part of herself. I've known that from the moment I met you, and I'm sure Luney has too. You are the missing piece. The wolf to her moon.

She'll deny it, of course; and also find a reason to believe that it's not meant to be. That it's too soon and too forced into being by the circumstances that finally brought you two together. Probably allow herself to fall for you then second-guess it and resent me for making her do it. She doesn't trust her own heart enough to just let it go; so I'm counting on you, Wolfey, to teach her how to do it. There's not a single person more capable and qualified than you.

Your heart is the most pure of any I know, and I mean that, mate, more than anything.

You found me working on that awesome Daintree Eco Resort in Cape Trib—would make an amazing honeymoon destination, by the way; Luney and her Byron hippy ways would love it—and you didn't even blink at how wrecked I was from all the drugs I was using. You didn't screw your face up at how tattered my clothes were, or the ratty, revolting dreadlocks that had formed in my hair from not being brushed for weeks. You didn't even question why I was camping out on the beach alone instead of living in a house or a motel.

You just joined me, bloke to bloke, man to man, mate to mate, and stuck around on the wild nomad ride I'd previously coasted on solo with my girl Medusa for over half a decade before you came along.

I've said it before (though, probably slightly less eloquently than this considering every previous time I've been off my head on drugs, booze or insanity), but in the least offensive and insensitive way possible, I'm so grateful for the circumstances that led you up north, Wolfey. I know it was a shit of a time for you with what happened to your old men (who I would have loved to meet and thank for raising such a stellar man as their son, by the way), but you packing up your life in Brissy was truly one of the best things that happened to me.

I wouldn't have made it much longer without having met you, my friend. You must have seen it—how completely done I was with life. I was using heavier then than ever and I honestly couldn't have given a fuck what happened to me. Even my girls were barely keeping me afloat at that point.

It was you, Wolfey, who held my hand and carried me these past few years. You gave me more time with Medusa and Luna. You helped me explore new lands and lakes and oceans; see old trees as tall as small skyscrapers and carved with symbols belonging to ancient cultures; and swim in waters so many have only seen in pictures or didn't know existed at all. You gave me beauty when you created art with me in the glow of our countless campfires, and sung melodies with me about the love you were looking for which I knew the exact whereabouts of but never told you about. You gifted me hours and days, weeks, months and years of the best kind of companionship. You listened to me whine and ramble, and helped me better understand myself. Your nonjudgmental approach repaired some of my lost faith in humanity, and opened me up to sharing so much more of what I naturally hid from everyone else. Your openness and friendship allowed me to accept it easier in others, and to embrace the connections I'd denied for so long. You protected me from everything, just like Luna had, and gave me the gift of safety and care, which I had obviously spent so much of my life without.

Your persistence and compassion taught me the true meaning of selflessness, which I have been working hard to master in my own self, and I'm feeling like I'm finally getting pretty close.