Second Time's the Charm

Part 1

Please note: I started this fic before S2 began, which means, as of Season 2 Episode 1, my characterisation of Ferman is very different than that of the show. I sort of wish I went with the show characterisation :)

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Dila stared at the image of her wedding dress reflected in the mirror, the beautiful fabric glistening behind her. It hung against the closet door, the design an intricate mixture of lace and satin, and a far cry from the dress she wore to her first wedding reception. Her heart squeezed in her chest. As difficult as the circumstances were, a small part of her had been filled with happiness at the idea of marrying the only man she'd ever loved - but this time there was no secret sense of joy. Instead, she was filled with dread at the thought of spending the resting of her life with Ferman Koruogluo.

"Dila, are you okay?"

Plastering a smile on her face, Dila whirled around to greet her brother's widow. Seda stood by the door, looking her usual calm self. After Ali's death she and Seda had grown much closer, only having each other as support in the past few years. "I'm great, Seda. Just taking a few minutes to myself."

Seda's smile didn't quite reach her eyes as she moved closer to admire the wedding dress. "It's beautiful."

"Yes."

"Has Ferman seen it?"

"He's the one who chose it." Concern flitted across Seda's features, something Dila chose to ignore. "He has great taste."

Seda nodded, the skeptical expression on her face growing stronger. "Are you sure about this, Dila?"

"The dress? Yes. I wouldn't wear something ugly to my own wedding."

"That's not what I meant."

Turning back to face the dresser, Dila started applying moisturizer to her face. "Don't mind me. I'm just a little nervous about the ceremony tomorrow. There are so many people coming and I'm just-"

"I don't think you love him."

Dila paused, meeting Seda's gaze in the mirror. "What makes you say that?"

"This feeling I have. You don't seem happy, not like when you were marrying-"

"Stop, Seda. I don't want to hear it."

"I just don't want you to do something you'll regret."

A bitter laugh escaped Dila's lips. "It's too late for that." Instinctively her fingers skimmed along the scar on her chest, one of many reminders left from her self-inflicted gun shot.

"Ferman makes me nervous."

As much as Dila wanted to confess the truth, she couldn't. It was better to keep lying than risk the safety of her family. "You don't have anything to worry about. Ferman won't hurt us."

"Is that why you're marrying him?"

Dila forced a smile on her face. "That's ridiculous."

"Kartal thinks so."

"Yeah well, he's wrong," Dila snapped.

"Then why don't you seem happy, Dila? Ever since the engagement you've been nothing but miserable. It's obvious, to everyone."

Dila stood up and stormed across the room, throwing her things in the suitcase she was planning to take for her honeymoon. "Just because you and Kartal act deliriously happy about getting married doesn't mean everyone has to be the same way. Did it occur to you that maybe I'm just anxious about getting married again? That maybe it's not about Ferman but me? It's not like I have a great track record when it comes to men. Maybe I'm just freaking out about the future in general. Maybe I'm just worried Ferman will regret marrying a woman who can't have any children."