Houses Head

Hospital

I'm awake before I even open my eyes.

I'm in the hospital, I can tell by the sounds around me.
I can feel and IV in my arm and can hear the beeping of the monitors.
I slowly open my eyes and see Cuddy sleeping on a chair close to my bed. I don't know how to feel. My head hurts, my stomach hurts and well.. I'm still alive and will now have to face everyone but for now I'm feeling far too tired so I roll my eyes back into my head and fall back asleep.

I wake up again and try my hardest to open my eyes. I must be on downers because I feel like I can't even open my eyes without having to use great effort. I peer through the slits in my eyes and look around the room. I am alone thank god.
I don't know how to feel or even what I feel. Well yeah I can feel the physical pain, like the pain in my stomach and my head. My leg hurts but that's not anything new. But I don't know how I feel emotionally, I guess I feel numb, I feel self hatred and I feel like a failure.
I hear high heels clicking down the hallway; must be Cuddy. I let out a sigh as the sound gets closer.
The doors open and Cuddy stands there looking at me with hurt in her eyes "House.." She begins to say sadly. I let out a gruff moan and manage to cough out "don't." My throat hurts "just leave me" is all I get out before I am too weak to speak more and just collapse into my pillow.
A tear rolls down Cuddy's cheek and she quickly catches it with her sleeve and turns away to walk out the door. I feel terrible, I don't want to make Cuddy cry. It's all my fault. I don't want to be here!
I try to move my arms and realize that I am in restraints. Great.
What am I going to say to Wilson? The team? Cuddy when she comes back?
I'm lost in thoughts and self pity for a few minutes when the doors open again and it's Wilson. He walks over and sits on the chair beside my bed "What were you thinking?!" He says angrily as Cuddy walks in through the door, her face is red from crying as she backs herself into the far corner and crosses her arms across her chest not looking at me. I close my eyes and re open them slowly and look at Wilson who is staring at me looking more concerned then before. "House, what the hell did you think you were doing?!" He asks again. "My leg hurt." Is all I could come up with. Cuddy slaps her hands down on her thighs "Your leg hurt! Really House! Your leg hurt so you took two bottles of Vicodin to make the pain go away? You aren't stupid I know that you know that the dosage you took was lethal." She sounds angry and hurt.
Wilson sighs, stands up and walks over and grabs my chart from the foot of the bed, reads it and puts it back. "We are keeping you restrained until you talk to us and explain what your intentions were. Foreman is in charge of all your current cases and I am not going to just let this get brushed off. House you almost died. You scared us all, look at Cuddy! She is a mess! You really need to stop being so damn selfish and get your life together! You have so many people that care about you House!" Wilson takes a deep breath in and looks like he might cry too as he turns to leave.
Cuddy walks up to Houses side and looks down at him "House please tell me why?" She puts her had on my face and turns me to look at her. I take a glance at the pain in her eyes and close my eyes and look away. "Can you take these things off of me please?" I ask, pulling on the restrains around my wrists and ankles. "You heard Wilson, not until you talk and we know you aren't going to do anything stupid again." Cuddy says as she puts her hand on my shoulder. I sigh as I realize I'm extremely exhausted and just want to sleep. I look away and close my eyes hoping Cuddy will just leave. I hear her sniff a few times and then hear her heels click out the door as I fall into the darkness of sleep.

When I open my eyes again Cameron is sleeping in the chair next to my bed. I bang the metal part of my wrist restraint against the bed railing. She jumps awake "House!" I grunt. "How are you feeling? We took you off the downers so you can become more alert and have a clear mind." She paused "well as clear as it can get."
"I really need to take a piss." I whine but really I just want out of these restraints. Cameron reaches over for a bed pan but as soon as she sees the look on my face she stops. "Wilson told me you would try to make up any excuse to get out of these restraints and I'm not going to get into trouble from Wilson or Cuddy." I roll my eyes "well I can't really fire Wilson for disobeying me can I?" She looks worried. "House I'm not suppo-" I cut her off "it's okay I'm just going to the bathroom and then I will be right back in bed, mommy." I say sarcastically. Cameron sighs and leans over to loosen the straps.

I rub my wrists as I was my hands in the sink, the straps were pretty tight, Some nurse in this hospital is going to regret that soon. I splash water on my face and look at myself in the mirror. Why am I here?
I hear the sliding doors to my room open and hear Wilson's voice booming "where is House?!"
"Uuh um" Cameron starts to stutter as I walk out of the bathroom.
"I had to pee and wasn't going to use a bedpan and Cameron is just so in love with me she just can't say no." Wilson rolls his eyes at me as Cameron looks down at her shoes, she can tell that Wilson is angry with her.
I limp over to my bed and sit down
"I'm fine. " I look up to meet Wilson's eyes.
"You don't need to worry about my Wilson, I am fine." I try to reassure him, of course I'm lying.
"House I don't want you pulling anymore stunts. You need to be under observation." Wilson says as Cameron excuses herself from my room.
Wilson goes to speak again but his pager goes off. "House you are a spoiled child. When Cuddy finds out she is going to be furious with me. Wilson looks back down at his pager. "I have to go" Wilson hesitates as he runs out of my room.

Alone. At last. And free. Free from those ankle, wrist biting straps.

I expect Cuddy to come by soon. Maybe I should get out of here while I can.
I peak my head out of my door. The hallway is clear as I limp painfully without my cane toward my office.