Tighter than Susan (Bling Bling Boy X Reader)(LEMON)

The Handsome Stranger

You leaned off your balcony, drooling at the sight of the beautiful pale stranger below. His small and dummy thicc body sends a tingling sensation through every bone you have.

You imagined yourself being crushed by those bling bling thighs, so tender and warm between your two normal sized ears. His ears were so small and sexy, you were so jealous that you couldn't relish in the essence of them. What life you would have....with him.

Of course, he's no stranger to you at all. You've had a whopping crush on Bling Bling boy for all 9 years of your life. You met him when both of you started as diaper shitters in pre-school. One time he even let you sip his chocolate milk from his MAGA sippy cup. Hoping to get a taste of his saliva.

Suddenly he looks up at you wide-eyed. Your heart skipped a beat as his blue eyes met yours. He opened his mouth to speak.

"Y/N..will you marry me?"

*BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP*

You woke up from your hopeful dream, only to find out that it was all not real. Figures, why would someone like him even think about liking you?

You wake up with a yawn surpassing 200 decibels, and walk down to the kitchen to eat breakfast. Your favorite-ramen noodles with syrup, blueberries, and ketchup. You were feeling a little extra hungry that morning, so you ate a clove of garlic dipped in nacho cheese.

You go back upstairs and onto your balcony-where the dream took place. All you saw were trees, buttercups, and the sidewalk where you usually see Bling Bling boy. You sighed and rested your head on your arms-entering a daydream about the two of you on a deserted island where you guys would-

"GET AWAY FROM ME!!" you heard in the distance. You perked up to see none other than Susan Test racing down the road. Weird, she usually only does that when-n 

"SUSAN!!! COME BACK!! SPARE SOME COOCHIE!!!" suddenly none other than Bling Bling boy races across, chasing that red headed souless whore. You couldn't stand watching these things happen between them. Susan never liked him, but you do. Why couldn't he chase after you? You would do anything to trade places with her, and actually accept his love.

You come to the realization that all you do is watch the hunky boy, you've never ONCE dared to try and speak to him. What's stopping you

"Hey!! Bling Bling boy!! Up here!!" you suddenly had the balls to call out to him. He stopped in his tracks, and glances up at you.

His beautiful smurf colored eyes were staring directly at your own orbs, he was so much more dreamy when it was YOU who he was looking at. Oh god...what were you gonna say next?

"Did you...wanna hang out sometime?" you asked loudly.

Bling Bling Boy's eyes widened, then shook his head. 

"I only bang red heads"

He glides away on his rich diamond encrusted Heelys.