It took two hours to walk to his hive and when he got there he flew inside and started looking around his house for his lusus. Luckily, his lusus was out of the house at the moment and Eridan could do whatever he wanted, including stealing the largest kitchen knife he owned. He grabbed the knife and ran into his bathroom, locking the door behind him.
Setting the knife down, he turned the tub onto the coldest temperature it could get and took off his cape. He contemplated taking off the rest of his clothes but decided not to. He at least wanted to be clothed when his lusus found him. He grabbed the knife and started making small cuts along his wrists until the tub was full.
He stepped inside the tub, his fins immediately snapping against his skin. Seadwellers naturally have a low body temperature so it’s extremely dangerous to be in the cold. He fully immersed himself in the water and grabbed the knife again. The water had already started turning a slight lilac color from the small cuts. He put the knife against the skin of his wrist and started to cry.
“I need to die. I’vve angered evverybody I havve evver knowwn. The only person that evver lovved me hates me. I’m wworthless. I’m useless. I havve nothing.” Eridan started to say these things like a chant as he started carving large deep cuts into his wrists and thighs.
After about twenty cuts, he looked down at himself, sitting in a pool of his watered down blood and nodded. This is what he needed. This is what he deserved. He put his arm over the side of the tub and dropped the knife over the edge. His vision started to fade as he looked at the counter. He looked at the picture he had of Sollux and smiled.
“I lovve you Sollux. I’m sorry I wwas too needy.” He said as his vision faded to black.
1 Hour Earlier~
Sollux looked up at the clock hanging above his door and sighed. It had been an hour since the fight and Sollux was starting to get worried. He really didn’t mean to say those things to Eridan but he just couldn’t control himself. He was just so angry and Eridan was the only thing there to dispel the anger. He was actually about to go to Karkat’s hive. He knew that if he were to talk (yell) at Karkat, his anger would eventually diminish; however, Eridan was already on his front porch, looking broken and hurt.
Sollux put his head in his hand, remembering the look on Eridan’s face. “What have ii done?” He said, shaking his head. “ii’m the only thiing he ha2. What wa2 ii thiinkiing? ii 2hould have followed him…”
Sollux heard a knock at the door as he was berating himself. He jumped off the couch and sprinted to the door. He started apologizing as he opened the door.
“Oh ED, ii’m 2o 2orry. ii 2houldn’t have told you to go away. ii diidn’t mean to yell at you. ii really am 2orr-“ Instead of seeing Eridan standing on his doorstep, Feferi stood there looking extremely concerned. “FF?” He asked as she put her hands on his shoulders.
“Did you do som–Ething to –Eridan?” She asked, looking uneasy. She stared into Sollux’s eyes with fierce determination. Sollux looked at her confused. “Did you?!” She asked more urgently.
“ii… ii wa2 angry and he wa2 here and ii acciidentally told hiim ii hated hiim. Iit wa2 an acciident and ii triied to tell hiim ii wa2 2orry but he left.” He said, flustered. She took a step back and looked down, biting her nails. “FF? Are you okay?” He asked taking a step towards her. She started muttering to herself. “What are you saying FF?” He asked quieter.
“You w–Er–E all he had left… You w–Er–E th–E only that acc–Ept–Ed him. I l–Eft aft–Er I found out…” She turned around, looking flustered. Sollux was starting to get concerned.
“Found what out FF?” He asked quietly but urgently. She turned around and faced him. Her eyes were wide with surprise.
“You… You don’t know?” She asked him, her fins were flapping in confusion. “)-(ow do you not know? You’r–E th–E one that )-(–E com–Es to w)-(–En )-(e f–E–Ells t)-(–E urg–E!” Her hands were on Sollux’s shoulders again and she was shaking him slightly.
“The urge to what? What’2 goiing on with ED, FF?” He took her hands off his shoulders and grabbed her face. She was crying now and Sollux was starting to freak out.
“)-(–E’s suicidal Sollux! )-(–E’s b–E–En cutting )-(ims–Elf w)-(–En–Ev–Er you w–Er–En’t t)-(–Er–E for him. )-(ow did you not know about this?!” She was borderline hysterical now.
“2- 2uiiciidal? Why? ii- ii knew he wa2 depre22ed but ii thought that wa2 iit… How den2e am ii?! Oh gog… What have ii done?!” He pushed the distraught Feferi out of the way and started sprinting towards Eridan’s hive.
Even at top speed, it took Sollux fifty minutes to get to Eridan’s hive. He ran inside, noticing the distinct lack of Eridan’s lusus and started to freak out. “ED!” He started yelling his name, hoping to hear a response. When there was none, he started running through the house. “ED! ED! Eridan!!” He continued to yell as he tore through the hive. “Please ED! An2wer me!” He opened every door that he passed. “Damn! Why ii2 your hive so big?!”
He opened about twenty doors before hitting a locked one. “ED?” He yelled out. With no response, he started slamming his shoulder into the door. “ED? Are you iin there?” He knew there would be no response, but he didn’t want the silence to linger. Suddenly he stopped. “What the fuck am ii doing… ii have psiioniics.” He silently berated himself as he used his psionics to open the door.
He opened the door and everything went still. There was Eridan, lying in a tub filled with blood. His flesh was extremely pale and his fins were drooping. Everything was still and Sollux couldn’t breathe. “ED…” He whispered as he stared at the limp body in front of him. The violet blood dripping down his arm and staining the knife and floor beneath it.
Sollux was brought out of his stupor by the sound of a drip. He saw the blood on the floor ripple as a new drop hit it. He jumped at the sound and ran over to Eridan.
“ED!” He yelled, grabbing onto his arm. His hand recoiled from his arm as he realized how cold he was. “2hit!! ED! Come on! Be alive! For me! Please!!” He put his fingers under Eridan’s fin, searching for a pulse.
YOU ARE READING
Deserving Darkness
Fanfiction"You're worthless. Nobody will ever love you. I hate you!" Eridan had become used to the hateful comments by now. The only reason he was still alive was because of his matesprit, Sollux.
