Did He Ever Love Me?

This is basically me taking my anger at Cassandra Clare out. Even though I don’t think I can write this as well as someone else could.

Disclaimer: I don’t own the Mortal Instruments, because otherwise COLS would have gone a bit differently

Warnings: COLS Spoilers

Magnus POV

I left him standing in the subway station. As I walked back into the sunlight, I couldn’t help the tears. No, Magnus Bane does NOT cry. But I was. Because I lost the only man I ever truly loved. Alec is everything to me. He always will be. But I can’t do this. I can’t just let him control my life.

Please, Magnus.

I could hear him pleading in my head. He will be the death of me. When I arrived at my apartment, I made my way to my office. Glancing at Chairman Meow, I closed the door tightly, knowing soon Alec would be here to pick up his stuff.

I flipped a light on and sat on my chair. Running my hands through my spiked hair, I let out the breath I’d been holding. The old spell book in front of me blurred as the tears clouded my eyes. Blinking, they dropped onto the paper, like small raindrops.

I burst into tears. I don’t know why I broke up with him, I just thought it would be best for both of us. I wish I could turn back time, but I have to be strong, for him, and for me.

Alec POV

After running from Maureen, whom I barely escaped from, I found myself walking in the direction I would go everyday, toward Magnus’ apartment. Our apartment. Our old apartment. Using my key to get in, I saw our neighbors were in love again. So was I, but that doesn’t matter to Magnus.

Once inside, I saw his cat scratching at the office door. He was in there. I slammed the door shut.

Hear me. Listen to me. Come back to me.

I stomped around the flat, picking up random pieces of clothing, books, and weapons and throwing them all at the front door.

I hope something of yours breaks.

I saw the blue scarf we fought over.

I saw the necklace I’d given him because I thought it reflected him.

I saw the jacket he’d gotten me because he ripped my old one right off me.

I saw the picture of us in Paris, under the Eiffel Tower. He was kissing my cheek and I was smiling at the camera with a glass of wine in each of our hands. We had gotten very drunk that night. It was the most fun I’d ever had because it was with him.

I didn’t want to go into the bedroom. I knew it held to many memories. But he wanted me out. What Magnus wanted, Magnus got.

I entered the room. Gathering my clothes, I couldn’t bear looking at the bed. The canary yellow sheets. I could imagine the way he would look when I had to go to the Institute early in the morning. Hair down, no makeup, laying there languidly as he begged me not to go. The sheets barely covering up what I know we’d done last night. I could imagine the way he would grab me, trying to persuade me back to bed. Most of the time I would end up joining him for an hour more, making myself late.

I missed him already and he was in the next room.

Magnus POV

I could hear him stomping around the apartment, slamming doors, throwing things, most likely destroying my floor. I couldn’t stand not seeing him. I gathered myself together and opened the door, right as he passed by.

Alec looked at me in surprise.

“I…I’m almost done. Five minutes at most.” He stuttered, mouth hanging open and eyes wide. I stared into those beautiful, clear blue eyes. How did I do this? I stepped forward. He didn’t step back. I stepped forward again, barely a foot away from him.

One more step and I was right up against him. I gently wiped away the lone tear that rolled down his cheek. He grabbed my hand and kissed my palm. I hugged him and Alec buried his face in my chest.

“I’m sorry! I’m sorry for trying to take away your immortality! I just wanted to be with you! Forever. I didn’t want to lose you to someone else. I thought you would find someone better.” He sobbed into me.

“You, Alexander Lightwood, are the stupidest boy alive.” He pulled away, a questioning look in his tear-filled eyes.

“How could I not see what you were trying to do. I did see it, but I was clouded by hate for Camille. I have never and will never find anyone better than you.” He leaned up and pressed his lips to mine. It was hungry, passionate, and messy.

He laughed as he pulled back, then putting on an angry face.

“We still have to discuss whether you’ve slept with the Seelie Queen or not.” His angry face broke with a smirk.

All I could do was laugh and drag him into our bedroom.

“It doesn’t matter. I’ll only make love to you. Ever again.”

Yes, he was stupid, naïve, and ignorant of the world. But he was my Shadowhunter, and I will forever be with him. No matter what this war brought.

Hope you like, and please review. I’d love to hear what you think.