Love Or Life; The Marathon We Run

3. Sunset or a Sunrise?

[Sassi]

Completely curled up into a warm blanket beside the wide window in my room, my eyes were fixated on probably the finest sunset of the season. I've always felt something special about sunrises and sunsets. The way in which a day starts; a new fresh beginning. And the way it ends; keeping its serenity and with a promise of another day, another start.

I always believed, keeping the sunset in my mind, that endings were beautiful, calm and soothing. But why wasn't mine the same?

Parhaps mine was not the end, mine was a start, a start of a scorching day of summer.

I could still hear my mother, convincing me to prove myself a good daughter and how I'll be the happiest and most blessed if i did as she said. But her obligation included leaving him forever and that was not possible for me.

"Mama try to understand. I CANNOT just....", I was out of words.

"Sassi beta, he's a very nice person i swear. He'll make you the Queen of his house. Atleast see him for once...", She was trying to convince me for a 100th time even after knowing all the truth.

"And what about the person I'm seeing for 4 YEARS? Have mercy on me PLEASE. Why do you think its that easy?", I cried my heart out.

Mama patted me, "I know i know its not easy. Understood! And that is why i've suggested just a small engagement gathering. Nikah can be delayed until you're fine with it Sassi. And I'm sure you'll make us proud"

There was silence for a few minutes that felt like an eternity. I was not able to digest anything. My mind was froozen and my heartbeat....still.

After a long pause, i spoke astoundedly with trembling voice, "Why.....are you doing.....this....to me? Even....after knowing everything?"

My mind was astonished and empty. I shaked my head vividly and begged, "Mama. All.... I'm asking from you....is to ask baba.....talk to him.....for once.....just once?"

She was still not showing any green flags, "Sassi, think practically. Its not a movie scene going on that you'll tell your father that you like a boy and he'll go like.....oh I'm so proud of you my daughter. ITS REAL LIFE Sassi. And you, me,....us......we're typical middle class people with old and narrow minds. For the people like us, there is no such thing as love. Try to understand that mere chand"

Mama was giving me long lectures while i was on an point to break down into tiny pieces. Maybe i wasnt even hearing what she was saying.

She continued, "Besides, we cannot just say no to Najma without any valid reason. We have no reason"

I tried politely for one last time, "Is love not an enough reason for you?"

Mama exploded, "NO! It is NOT , Sassi. All this LOVE, FEELINGS, INTERESTS should only be reserved for your HUSBAND"

"But mama....", She didnt let me say anyfurther.

"ENOUGH. Not a single word anymore", She stood up and started making her exit when i unapologeticly screamed.
"You know i can do that without your or anyone else's will, dont you?"

Mama instantly turned with fuming eyes and came running back to me. She gripped my shoulders and asked eye-ing me to death, "Do what? DO WHAT SASSI?"

I couldnt answer her but my racing heartbeats and my rebellous stare was itself the answer.

She continued, "Is THIS the day i brought you up for?......Are these shameless stares Sassi.....that i brought you up for?"

I lowered my gaze after which she let go off me with a jerk saying, "Shame on you!"

I stumbled on my bed while she, with a disgusted and angry face, started to make her way out when i practically fell in her feet and begged, "Mama please. Please mama. Just once. Mama. Just once. Meet him. Please mama. Please. Meet him once. I wont talk about him after that. If you say no. Mama. Please. Please once. Once...."

She stared at me for a few seconds in disbelieve after which she held me from my shoulders and made me stand up. She took a deep sigh and spoke, "Okay......But if i wont like him, i wont digest such behavior"

Finally a little ray of light was visible that made my eyes shine. I was sure she'll like him. I spent 4 grand years of my life with Ammad, i knew him more than himself, more than anyone else. I was confident about him and about his love. He changed my perspective of life and put forward to me....the pure colours of the rainbows of his soul. There was no lie in his passion.

Suddenly, a hesitant knock on the door brought me back to reality. The sunset i was lost into was turned into a beautiful, eye-captivating starry night which was irresistable.

"Not the warmth of Sun, but maybe the coziness of night?", i thought to myself  while walking toward the door.

As i opened it, finally my eyes felt warmth after seeing a familer face infront of me after many days that felt like forever.

"Assalam o alikum", he greeted me with the same old refreshing energy which was so unexpected.

"Walikum Assalam Zaviyar bhai. Come", I showed him the way inside with a formal smile.

The eyes that were tired of seeing strangers for so many days finally found bliss. It felt like my own brother was here, to calm me down, to set things okay and to sort everything out.

"How are you, Sassi?", The formal person inside him spoke that made me, helplessly, go back in the past.

I nodded, "I'm fine, bhai. Did you land today?"

"No. Ahh actually it's been 3 days. I was here for a business trip. Just got free from there so just....came to see you", Even his smile was not able to hide how tired he was. I lowkey felt sad for him for running here for me when he needed to rest. I knew Zimal must've forced him.

Out of no where he asked, "What happened to Ammad at once? You know I've met him a couple of times through you. He seemed a trustworthy person. Or else i would've talk to you about him"

I had no answer. Shame and guilt were eating me from the inside. I just nodded my head and pressed my lips into a forceful and vividly painful smile.

He continued, "You know, Sassi, it is so.....unbelievably.....surprising to know what happened. I'm so sorry. But talk about him, if not to me then to Zimal. Its okay. Talking about him will make you come out of this trauma very fast. And i promise you, that things will be okay"

"InShaAllah. And thankyou", I could only come up with this.

Suddenly my mind shifting to my family back there, "How is mama and baba?"

"I havent met them, Sassi. And i know that you know how they'll be feeling", Zaviyar bhai spoke politely. His tone had no rudeness, "I will meet them. Dont worry i wont tell about you. And also i will have to find Ammad now. He cannot just disappear leaving our Sassi in curiousity and clueless"

Finally i was able to breathe. I was no longer suffocated. I knew i had a reliable being with me who was here to help me live again.

After a cup of tea and a couple of motivational talks, he left back to his house, leaving me adore those little lights in the sky, wondering life.

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Author's note :

Ahh finally I'm so happy to put it down here!! Its been such a long while that i thought i wont be able to do this. But praises to my best hoooman for always being a source of motivation and appreciation. Annndddd the rest of the readers too❤❤❤(if there're any👀🤭🤭)
If you are here then show me your presence lol.

Reviews pleasssseeee? How was the chapter? Tap star below and show some love❤
Also pray for my result palizzz

Published on: 8-10-19  1:00AM