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Chapter 01: First & Last Class

COURAGE

HINDI KO man alam ang dahilan ng paglipat ko na naman ng school, hinayaan ko nalang dahil may tiwala ako sa tito ko, kahit hindi na mabilang kung ilang beses na 'ko lumipat ng school sa buong highschool journey ko. Fine. I'm here now.

I blow a kiss at Tito before I climb into the car out of habit—we do that, always. He always tosses it back when I get in. This time the kiss hits a blank window. The seat beside me is empty. My fingertips go cold.

"Tito?" I whisper into the leather. He should be there—he drives me to school, he jokes with Manong driver, he's a cop who thinks he knows what's best for me. Manong driver doesn't look up. He tightens his grip on the wheel like someone holding a secret.

I tell myself he's ringing inside the house, that he forgot to say goodbye. But the kind of small unease that lives in my stomach when trouble's the flavor of the month settles in. I gulp water like it'll wash the thought away.

I shrugged it away. Sinenyasan ko na rin si Manong driver na humarurot na papuntang school dahil malalate na ako. Nakita ko naman siyang ngumiti mula sa salamin sa harap bago mag-drive paalis.

My attention diverted to our longtime chauffeur, who's served Tito even before he took me in. Not that information is that important any way, but suddenly, curiosity hit me.

I observed his expression through the reflection of him on the driving mirror. Ngayon ko lang na-realize na nasa mid-30s lang pala ang itsura ng driver namin because I'm not really focusing on what he looked like dati. Mejo makapal din ang kilay niya at may malungkot na mata. Though focused lang talaga siya sa pag-drive. Hinigpitan din niya ang hawak niya sa manibela. 

Tahimik ang kotse—no music nor any other noise—kaya hindi ko maiwasan na mag-isip ng kung anu-ano. We roll past Mercury Drug. Palawan Pawn Shop. Jolibee. Then the police station blinks by. My uncle suddenly crossed my mind. For a minute there, I wondered if tito was hiding something from me that's why he's acting suspicious today.

The moment tito mentioned the name of the school I'm transferring to, like a normal person, I immediately searched its social media accounts. Thankfully, it gave thousands of results considering this is not a school that belongs in Top 4 Universities in the Philippines. However, I find some of the results unnecessary. As I scrolled, nakita ko na mayroon kasi silang Official Facebook Page at isang Freedom Wall kung saan nagsusulat ang mga estudyante sa paglalagay ng kanilang entries anonymously. At dahil nga anonymous ang paglagay, kung anu-anong bagay ang kanilang mga naikukuwento. Ang iba, makabuluhan; nakakatakot; at ang iba ang paglalabas ng baho sa isang kapwa tao. 

And of course, the inevitable: Love stories. Secret entries. Confessions. You name it. Para bang February 14 araw-araw sa kanila. 

I also vividly remember, while I was looking for information, there's this website the school made where they put the class master list. CREIGHTON PUPILS. That was the name of the website. I find it weird at first because doesn't this violate a student's privacy? But oh well, one thing's for sure. I kept in mind kung sino sa kanila ang makaka-benefit sa akin in the long run. Isang pagkokopyahan, isang lalapitan kapag may chismis, isang proprotekta. If I could find friends with each of those personalities, doesn't that sound good in a slice of life story?

Since my uncle's a police man, we get lots of different kinds of threats almost every day. Having someone by my side who'd risk their life to protect me would be nice and friends who would comfort me when things get rough. Never had I have a lifetime friend, kasi naman, I always get kicked out dahil lagi akong na-gguidance office. Me vs Classmates who do illegal things. Though naiinggit din ako sa mga kaklase ko kahit ambabaho ng ugali nila. They had friends to protect them kahit alam nilang mali 'yung ginawa ng kaibigan nila.