Oh! Darling
By:sunkinghanlon
Beverly often had nightmares, and usually didn’t want to sleep, even though she knew she was safe with Ben right at her side. Nightmares about her father, her ex husband, about everything that they had gone through after fighting IT a second time. She feared the dark corners of her and Ben’s shared home, jumped at every noise when it was too quiet.
So when Ben woke up to an empty bed it wasn’t an uncommon occurrence, he simply rubbed his sleepy eyes and put his slippers on, tucked his robe around himself, and shuffled out into the living room. He found Bev sitting in front of the fire place, resting on her stomach with her nose in a book.
“What’re you reading, baby?” Ben murmured as he sat down next to her, resting a gentle hand on the small of her back. He knew Bev wasn’t one for reading much, but when she did find a book she liked she would read and re-read and re-re-read to the point of memorizing the contents, her books well-loved and worn out, with the pages dog-eared and certain phrases underlined in shaky ink. He knew that Beverly didn’t love often but that she loved fiercely.
“Just To Kill A Mockingbird... again.” She sighed as she placed her bookmark in between the pages, a delicate design of intertwined sunflowers that she sketched on the back of a Joann Fabrics receipt. “You know I have a thing for Atticus.” She smiles as she rolls onto her back, taking Ben’s hand and intertwining it with her own. Ben tries to ignore the pang in his chest when he looks at the darkness under her eyes, and the way her smile seems so tired, and the dullness in her skin.
“Baby, you need to sleep more.” He mumbles as he cups her cheek in his palm, running his thumb along the galaxy of freckles along the bridge of her nose. She just sighs in response and allows herself get pulled into Ben’s chest. “I just want you to be happy, Bev.” He whispers into her ear. It’s just then that Ben hears the faint music emanating from the radio, Cyndi Lauper’s voice softly flowing through the room.
“I just... can’t sleep Ben. I try so hard to be okay but every time I get close to drifting off it all just comes flooding back.” Bev says a bit loudly, and then Ben notices the open, and half empty, bottle of red wine sitting on the coffee table.
“I know darling...” Ben murmured after placing a kiss on Bev’s temple. “How long ago did you drink that?” He gestured haphazardly to the bottle and the empty wine glass sitting next to it.
“Just like, an hour ago?” She says as she climbs to her feet, taking the few steps to the coffee table and refilling her glass. “Did you want some too? I can grab you a glass.”
“Sure baby.” Ben smiles, rolling onto his side and resting his head on his arm. He stared at Beverly, marvelling at how beautiful his girl was. How did he get so lucky? He often wondered how he could love someone so much, he’d loved her since they were kids. He didn’t think that anyone could love anyone as much as he loved Beverly.
Beverly hummed along to the radio as she padded to the kitchen to get another wine glass for Ben, and another bottle of wine.
For the next hour they sat on the soft rug in front of the fireplace and talked about everything. They talked about how they wanted to meet up with the other remaining losers sometime soon, about Bev’s new designs, about going to the opening of another building of Ben’s that was almost finished. Soon they land on the topic of Bev’s nightmares.
“I’m sorry that I don’t really talk to you about it, babe. I just want it all to stop. I don’t think I’ve ever gone into detail, but fuck I hate it. It’s usually centered around when we were kids, about my dad or about It. Sometimes I have nightmares about Tom.” She paused, taking a minute to breathe. “I dream about the night I left him, the night I got the call from Mike that It was back. I remember thinking that he was gonna kill me, Ben. But then I beat the shit out of him, so it turned out fine I guess.” She laughed wetly, brushing away the tears pooling in the corner of her eyes. “Can we talk about something else?”
Ben took a gulp of his wine, effectively finishing off the last of his glass, then set the glass on the hearth of the fireplace. “Do you wanna dance?” He warmly invited with a lazy grin. His smile widened as Beverly nodded and stuck her hands out for him to grab. He easily pulled her to her feet and brought her body closer to his own. He placed his left hand on her hip and held her hand with his right as her hand came to rest on his shoulder. Bev softly smiled as Ben hummed along to Foreigner’s Waiting For A Girl Like You.
They swayed gently and Bev thought about how she was so lucky, lucky to have Ben. Ben was her rock, he grounded her and was always there for her when she got too inside her head.
The vocals of Paul McCartney drifted out of the radio and into the room, Beverly smiled as she recognized one of her all time favorite bands playing. She pulled Ben a little closer, swayed a little slower, and moved her left hand to Ben’s shoulder. As she met eyes with Ben she let her mouth fall into a lazy grin.
Ben hummed in tune to the song, grinning softly back at Bev, who had taken to singing along.
“Oh darling, if you leave me I’ll never make it alone. Believe me when I beg you, don’t ever leave me alone.”
