My Full Confession

Waiting For Me By The Apple Tree

"I'm not going anywhere with you, I'm staying here. John will be back any moment; he's not going to like seeing you here." I reminded Victor anxiously, remembering John's very violent plan of attack.
"Then we've got to get out of here before he gets here, come on then, William let's leave." Victor insisted, trying to get to his feet now, trying to pull me up with him.
"No! Can't you see I don't want to go with you? I ran away with him with the intention of never going back!" I exclaimed, just now pushing myself to my feet, attempting to run, attempting to make it out of this ally while the villain was still dormant. And yet he was too fast for me, and as if on reflex the man's hand shot out, and clutched against my ankle so stiffly that I fell face first onto the ground, yelping in surprise before moaning in aching pain. I fell hard to the dirt, yet he didn't seem to care. After all of this talk of my wellbeing, he didn't seem to take it so seriously after all.
"Don't make this difficult on me, William, don't make me force you." Victor snarled, all softness in his voice having evaporated with my sudden move. Obviously he didn't like to be told no, obviously he didn't understand that he couldn't always have everything he wanted. I said nothing, yet I tried to roll over and touch upon my face. I could feel blood oozing from my chin, along with a powerful stinging pain.
"Your brother told me everything, everything." Victor muttered a bit mournfully.
"He wouldn't." I insisted back, in something of a defensive voice. And yet it was impossible to believe that my brother had betrayed us, no certainly Victor's version of 'everything' was a fragmented one at best. Mycroft was on our side, I knew it to be true!
"Oh he would. Well there's good news and bad news of course, the bad news, from your point of view at least, is now I can hang your little boyfriend for murder. The good news is that Mycroft had his first kiss. Just a little bit of romance can really worm the truth out real nice. And what a ghastly kisser he is." Victor said with a cruel laugh, his fingers playing across my ankle in a rather loving way, still keeping me down, keeping me helpless. It was like a shackle, made of flesh and not iron, yet just as effective at keeping someone secure. I didn't know what to do, if there was anything to be done at all. I didn't know what to say to such a betrayal, I couldn't do anything but squeeze my eyes shut in worry, knowing of course that as soon as John got back he would be arrested. I needed to do something, and do it quick. Victor was presenting us with a large problem, one we knew we would have to face one of these days. He was the brick wall we would have to scale in our escape from our old lives.
"It was self defense; did he tell you that part? That my father almost killed me, and John!" I exclaimed.
"Oh and the world would've been better suited with the latter. Oh come away with me, William, and I can save your life. John is destined to hang, we will catch him tonight, but you need not share his fate. Oh William, you can be saved. I will save your life." Victor insisted, his voice turning into something of a drawling whine. "Just let me save you, and you shall live forever."
"No, no!" I exclaimed, attempting to yank my foot away from him in a great force, yet his held fast, and instead dragged me closer to him, dragging my against the dirt in such a way that my skin scraped against the unforgiving ground. I screamed in protest, but he didn't seem to hear, he was growing angrier by the second, as he simply did not know how to be refused. He didn't know how to listen to the word no.
"You would give up your life for him, the man who murdered your father, the man who is trying to take you away from everything you have, and everything you've ever known?" Victor hissed. "You would leave your life behind, for a man who just walked into your life and expected to have it all?"
"I would give up my life for him." I managed finally, still trying to wiggle away. Yet he had a better hold on me now, taking me by the waist so that I could not struggle very effectively.
"How much have you already given?" Victor breathed, his voice dropping to a lower level...a concerning one at that. My heart stopped, yet I didn't know how I might respond. I didn't know how he expected me to respond, I didn't know what answer to give him.
"I'm not...Victor don't." I insisted then, begging him now to know his boundaries.
"William have you lost yourself to him, have you sacrificed so much that you..."
"Victor I'm not going to talk about this! I don't want to, you're making me uncomfortable!" I exclaimed.
"Oh defensive, so defensive! What happened to the boy I used to know, what happened to little William, so scrawny and awkward, what happened to the boy who was afraid of himself?" Victor whined, his voice becoming genuinely shameful, as if he missed the past. He glorified the past; obviously he saw something in our childhoods that everyone else had looked over. Perhaps he thought it had been genuine friendship, perhaps he had considered us to be compatible even then...even now.
"He grew up! Now by God, let me go! Let me go or I'll kill you!" I threatened. "Or John will!"
"You will not kill me, William. You would not want to." Victor whispered, holding me down to the ground now, and readjusting himself so that he was leaning over top of me. I panicked, I flailed and I began to kick, and yet his strength was enough to hold me steady. His eyes were glinting with bad intentions, and his hands were falling underneath my shirt, and against my skin. His fingers were cold, his grip was tight, and suddenly I went numb in fear. I could do nothing but stare, and accept this fate that he had thrust upon me. He let himself fall on top of me, holding me down now with his body weight and kissing down upon my lips before I could do anything to protest. His hands held my head steady, yet all the while I fought against him. I tried to scream, in fact I was screaming, screaming into his mouth where my words would not be heard. I screamed for John, I screamed for help, for anyone to help, and yet he swallowed my cries, and stilled my tongue with his own. His hands were tight against my waist, and his legs even tighter against my own. I kicked and I flailed, yet it was useless. Oh and the worst part was I knew he enjoyed it, I knew he enjoyed every second of it, no matter how hard I fought, or how loudly I screamed! He had been looking forward to this moment for the longest time, I could feel it in his urgency, I could sense it in the way he clung to me, to my thin figure underneath his own! His breaths came heavily until he could do nothing more but sigh, his grip was becoming so tight around my hip bones that his nails were digging into my skin, I could feel him shivering now, shivering with delight. And as he became weaker, I felt myself grow stronger. I allowed myself now, to play along just enough to catch him off guard. If I could trick him into ecstasy he wouldn't be able to react as quickly, he wouldn't be able to respond as violently. If I could just convince him...I kissed him back now, kissed him hard enough that he responded with just the same amount of force. I stopped struggling, and put my hands on his arms, easing his face to my neck so that I could survey my area. John had yet to return, yet the crates were bound to hold something heavy. There was a brick, sat not far from me. I could probably reach it, yes if I strained enough I could probably manage! And yet to reach for it would be suspicious, he would know immediately...I tried to ease us both closer, edging from underneath him. I let my one hand fall to the ground, distracting him with another bout of kisses, reaching and flailing, smacking my hand against the ground as my long fingers felt for anything that might be the suitable weapon. Until finally they scraped against the brick, the very one I had chosen earlier, they touched upon it, they pulled it closer... Victor leaned farther into me, kissing now against my chest, and I responded as I promised I would. I gave a scream, something of a yell of dedication, and brought the brick smashing down upon his skull. It didn't kill him, no that one blow was only enough to daze him. Yet his muscles slackened, his mouth let loose a scream, and he fell to the ground in agony, clutching against his forehead as if he was trying to keep his skull together, trying to keep the blood from escaping the open wound. I scrambled out from underneath him, jumping to my feet and regaining my confidence, holding the brick heavily in one hand, and staring down upon my victim with ferocity. Something overtook me, a sort of primitive violence that I wouldn't want to begin to explain. Something akin to absolute rage took over me, until I was unable to see a struggling human before me, but a slithering thing, something so beastly and undeserving of life, just clinging to the consciousness it didn't deserve. I held the weapon in my hand, knowing that I was the only one to rid the world of its presence, I was the only one capable and willing to put it out of its misery, and bludgeon it into its rightful state. It was madness that overtook me; no claim of self defense would ever be viable. And so I bent down over his struggling figure, listening to the words he uttered out of his mouth, uttering threats, and love confessions, and begs for mercy. And I brought the brick up once more, and smashed it as hard as I could into his pretty little skull. And I did it again. In each and every spot I could manage I cracked his head into pieces, watching that intelligent brain melt into a puddle around his fragments of hair. I watched as my childhood friend was reduced to pieces before my very eyes, until the body was visible and the head was merely pudding. And I continued to smash it, just to make sure he was really dead, until all that remained was a puddle...and finally I fell back. And I enjoyed the quiet.