Feathers

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♡

'…..and may all your birthday wishes come true!”

Despite the well-meaning sentiment, Joey couldn't help but scoff. It was a typical birthday card message, but it meant nothing to him. His birthday wishes never came true. Besides, he was too old for wishes. Even birthday ones.

He read through the rest of the postings on the band's internet forum, grateful and appreciative for the outpouring of messages. Their fans never forgot their birthdays, and it always humbled him to see how much they cared. They really were the best fans in the world.

“Still going?” a voice asked cheekily from behind him.

Startled, Joey turned around. He didn't have to look far to see the culprit breathing over his shoulder. He had recognised the voice anyway.

“Hey Craig.”

“Hey Jo.”

The sampler flopped down into the couch next to the drummer. Comically, he leaned into Joey, trying to peer at the laptop screen.

“More declarations of undying love?” he asked sarcastically.

“Only 3 this time,” Joey deadpanned. “I'm disappointed. I think I'm losing my touch.”

Craig laughed. “You're getting old, that's why,” he teased.

Joey poked his tongue out. “I'm younger than you!” he retorted, not minding the jibes. He scanned the last few messages before closing the window and shutting his laptop down. He snapped his laptop closed and flopped back in his seat.
Craig copied him.

The sampler seemed to sense his mood. “Getting older isn't the worst thing in the world,” he said quietly.

“I know,” Joey replied after a pause. “It's not that... it's...”

But he was unable to complete his sentence. It just wasn't something he'd ever expressed outside of his own head before. Craig let him gather his thoughts for a while. He knew Joey wanted to get something off his mind, but he wasn't sure what.

“Joey... you know you can tell me anything, right?”

The drummer nodded slowly. He turned his head to face Craig, as if he was gradually gaining the courage but losing it when he wanted his mouth to open.

Finally... “It's not getting older that's the problem, Craig. It's....” He chuckled bitterly. “It's those damn birthday messages. 'May all your birthday wishes come true' and all that bullshit. Wishes never come true. Never. Sometimes you want and want and wish and wish but you never get it. It's bullshit. Fucking crap. There's only one thing I want and I'll never get it. 'Birthday wish?' Whatever. I'm over it.” He faded into silence.

Craig was surprised at the venom in Joey's voice. He'd never heard the drummer speak like that before, and figured that the cause of his tirade must be affecting him greatly. After a while, he spoke.

“What is it, Joey? What's the birthday wish you never got?”

It seemed like hours before Joey replied, and when he did, the answer was so faint Craig had to strain to hear.