Metanoia.「skephalo」

17 | Addictions.

"Are you feeling a better, little muffin?" the blonde boy asked, placing a mug filled with hot chocolate on the table.

The short boy was sitting at the table, hugging his legs while staring blankly at an undefined point in front of him.
Darryl stared at him worried, then slid the cup towards Zak, making him flinch as soon as he catched the movement.

"Thank you." quietly muttered, resting his chin on his knees. "And I'm fine Darryl, don't worry." murmured raising lightly his voice.

The older boy sighed at his reply, and dragging his chair closer to him, who was silently observing his movements, sat down gifting him a small smile.

"Can I ask... what happened to you?" Zak hesitantly asked before Darryl could even complain about his previous answer, resting his eyes on him.

At his questions, the older boy uneasily lowered his eyes and stayed silent while fidgeting with his fingers, as if he was trying desperately to come up with an excuse.
Zak's hand layed on his, stopping his movements, and his emerald eyes looked back up at him full of anxiety and discomfort.

"Hey, you don't have to answer." reassured the short boy with a small tired smile, holding now one of Darryl's hands.

"I'm sorry but... I don't feel like... talking about it." murmured in reply looking back down while caressing with both thumbs the back of Zak's hand, wich was embed in his.

"If you'll ever feel like to, I'll be there ready to hear you out. After all, you did the same with me." he pointed out, widening lightly his smile at Darryl's caresses.

"Thank you, little muffin." whispered, glancing at him and giving a thankful smile back.

A second later, Zak's eyes meet his emeralds one's once again, and found himself forced to look at the mug, pulling his hand away against his will.

"I know things keep happening but... I really, really have to study. Do you still feel like helping me or?" asked, sliding side to side the cup in front of him.

"Of course, I'm just... are you sure you want to? I can't stress enough how tired you look." said the blonde boy, looking him with the usual concerned look.

"I'm fine, for the umpteenth time, Darryl." answered exasperated, leaning against the back of the chair and letting his arms fall on the sides.

"Alright, alright..." murmured raising his hands while getting up.

Darryl grabbed the short boy backpack and carefully put it on the table beside him, then took his own belongings, such as pencils, sheets and a calculator, and placed them besides Zak's ones.
Then, he walked into the kitchen and came out a moment later with a dish full of muffins, of course.

"Alright, little muffin." he sat back down and slid the plate aside, smiling then at Zak. "Are you ready?"

The studies proceeded quite smoothly with Darryl patiently helping the short boy, explaining his errors with his usual soft tone of voice, and Zak really trying his best to fix them and understand what was doing wrong.
Every once in a while, the blonde boy would glance at him while completely focused on his math exercises, admiring his face features and his chocolate eyes.
The ease with which he was able to lose himself in Zak's eyes was worrying, and the need to hug him or simply hold his hand was more than only worrisome.

Darryl found himself so anxious about his feelings towards Zak that the palms of his hands were getting injured more often from his nails unconsciously digging into his skin.
That coping mechanism was one of the worst. He wasn't able to control it.
He hoped with all himself not to fall back into a specific old habit. The only wich the only thought about would make him bring his hand on his left wrist, increasing the phantom pain that was always there, somehow.
He hated it.