My Little Dashie

My Little Dashie (Part. 8)

It's been three days since Dashie left. The night of her departure, I did something I hadn't done in a long time: I went for a walk. I wasn't sure where I was going, or how long I walked, but that's what I did. I walked. Now, three days later I'm finding myself out here walking once again. I've been out for roughly three hours, and though it is only five in the afternoon, it has grown dark.
A storm is brewing, and soon I will be getting hit by the brunt of it. I turn around to begin my walk home, though I don't rush. My energy these past few days has been non existent, as I have barely eaten anything more than some toast. I feel so lost as I walk through the woods that surround my home. No, our home. It is as much hers as it is mine, and nothing will change that.
The rain has begun, but I do not quicken my pace. I just walk, much like I had done so long ago. The distant memories of all my pain and sorrow before Dashie begin to seep back into my mind. I haven't had these thoughts in years. The pats of water on the tree leaves help keep me distracted. It's a peaceful sound, one you would never hear in the city.
The rain is picking up as my shirt is now soaking wet. I'm sure I will be sick tomorrow morning, but I don't care. I've been sick for three days now; a mental illness that has been tearing me apart. My daughter is somewhere out here, hurting, needing some comfort and warmth in this rain. I wish I could be there for her, even though she may not want me to. She may not ever want to see me again from how she acted.
I don't blame her... it must be such a horrible thing finding out your past like that. I can't even imagine what it would be like. I know Dashie is a strong mare, and she can pull through. But I also know how she holds a grudge at times. I'm not sure that, even if she did come back, she would ever forgive me. Or more importantly, if I could even forgive myself.
It's now pouring out here. The tree canopies are barely holding back the torrential rain as I'm hammered by the water droplets. I stop to look around, and find my bearings to return home. I'm not lost; most of this area is easy to traverse once you get used to it. It's just I'm also looking for Dashie as I walk. It's the reason why I'm walking in the forest in the first place.
I press on, keeping a steady pace through this rain. Suddenly, I spy a large, thick tree. Its stature sticks out amongst the rest, and from looking at the barely wet grass underneath I can tell its many branches are holding back even this hard rain. I need to take a break, so I walk under the tree and sit down. The grass is barely wet, with only a few small droplets making their ways down.
This is the kind of tree I'd imagine Dashie would hide under in this rain. I wish it to be true, but I saw no sign of her as I approached.
I close my eyes, and lean against the tree hulk as I think about my life... our life, together as a father and daughter. We have grown so much as a family, and have been fortunate enough to have very few fights. None of them were as heart-breaking as the one three days ago.
I feel a tear running down my cheeks as I imagine Dashie's face again. The anger in her eyes, mixed with the confusion, just tears me apart. I want so badly to make things right, or go back in time and stop it from happening. But I can't do either of those. What's done is done.
"I'm so sorry..."
I speak out loud, not caring for no one is listening. I'm alone in these woods, besides the wild-life. In this rain they are hiding as well, and the ones that aren't are far from a being such as I.
"I'm just so sorry, Dashie."
I continue to cry as I keep my eyes closed, and leaning against the tree. The rain continues to pour around me. An occasional drop hits my head, but I don't care.
Crack
I open my eyes from the sudden sound, and look to my left. I'm shocked at what I see before me, looking at me with teary eyes herself. Dashie, my little Dashie, covered in burrs and tree sap along her mane and tail, is standing a couple feet from me. She is wet, with both rain and tears. I hadn't heard her approach, then again being a Pegasus she was very quiet and light on her hooves.
She doesn't speak, and instead walks over to me, not caring what noises she makes under her hooves. I don't move; I just sit on the ground and watch with my own wet eyes. She looked so horrible, and yet so beautiful at the same time. Her coat would need a good cleaning, but that was the least of my worries.
Without a word, she sits next to me, not making eye contact as she looks off into the woods. I can only look at her, wishing to hug her tightly and never let her go again. But I hold back, knowing that it would be too sudden. Finally, she is first to speak.
"I... I heard you," Her voice then got quiet as she whispers, "And I'm sorry too."
I simply smile through my tears; her stubborn attitude was still showing as she always had difficulties apologizing, "Dashie, you have nothing to be sorry about. It's my fault, simple as that."
It seems my point doesn't get across, as she finally looks to me with a sorrowful face.
"Dad. Do... do you still love me?"
Now is the time to act. I reach over and grab her, holding her in a tight hug.
"Of course, Dashie. I've always loved you. I still love you, no matter what. Not even a small fight such as ours could ever change that."
She returns the hug, as we sit there and cry together. We continue to apologize, me for the truth and her for raising her voice and storming out. After some time, the rain subsides while we remain under the tree.
"Dad."
"Hm?"
"Can we go home now? I need a shower, bad."
I let out a chuckle, and she too laughs as I stand. We make our trip back home; she is smiling again. I am too. I've been giving it some thought, and I think I shall give her her birthday present a little early.
A ticket to the Indy 500. Yes, I'm taking her to the Indy 500. She can simply sit on some clouds and watch while I'm in the stands. I didn't even have to get her a ticket, but she needs some sort of reminder of her visit. I'm sure she will have a blast, and though I don't expect this to make everything right, I can only hope it cheers her up some.
With some time, I'm sure she will relax and settle down about her being in the cartoon. She's a smart mare, and knows she is real, not that made up pony from the cartoon. I can only help push her to believing that, and hope she does the same to me.