𝕯𝖆𝖗𝖑𝖎𝖓𝖌 || 𝖄𝖔𝖔𝖓𝖒𝖎𝖓

~twenty eight~

Taehyung has always been sure about his decisions in life. He was sure about his likes and dislikes, he was sure about his love for art, he was sure about studying and working towards being a concept artist. 

He thought he was sure about Jeon Jungkook.

When he first met Jungkook through Yoongi, he just knew they were meant to be. He'd been sure there weren't such things as soulmates or destiny, but Jungkook made him do a double-take on that. Jungkook with his smiles that lit up the whole room, with his not so secret glances, with his carefree laughs and eyes that hold galaxies in them. And well, Taehyung's had an eye for art since he knew how to hold a pencil.

When Taehyung had nervously asked to sketch him for an assignment, he wasn't sure if Jungkook would agree. But to his relief, Jungkook told him he'd be more than happy to be drawn by someone as talented as Taehyung. 

Meetups for projects and assignments turned into casual calls and texts, leading to lunch and coffee dates, which turned into confessions whispered into crisp February nights and kisses that tasted like honey and intrigue. 

Taehyung thinks if he could describe Jungkook in a colour he'd be a solid #7b1113. Passionate, bold, intriguing. Maybe holding something he'd call muted danger. Taehyung loved and cared for him with all that he had, and he knew Jungkook did too. Almost to a fault, maybe. 

Including all that, Jungkook was still young and a little immature. Taehyung thought, feared, that Jungkook had put him on a pedestal, above anything else. He had too much love to give and he gave it all up to Taehyung. 

At times, for Taehyung, he'd try to be someone he wasn't, not understanding that Taehyung loved him for who he was, not someone he was trying so hard to be. 

In the span of the months they'd dated, Jungkook had changed so much Taehyung would sometimes forget the Jungkook he fell in love with in the first place. The sweet, fun, romantic and sometimes adorably shy Jungkook had been replaced by this straightforward, overconfident, detached persona. 

Taehyung wasn't sure he could love a facade, that doesn't mean he didn't try. But he could only try so much. 

The night he broke up with Jungkook was the night he spent walking to Jimin's house in the rain and spending the night crying in the older's arms. He was sure Jungkook did something similar. 

The first few weeks hurt almost as much as it hurt to see Jungkook change right in front of him. 

It meant he had to start avoiding Yoongi 'cause the younger was almost always around him, they lived in the same apartment for fuck's sake. Taehyung had resorted to spending days and nights holed up in Jimin and Seokjin's house. Things started to get a bit rough in that particular household and Jimin, to Taehyung's immense dismay, found Junghoon. 

So, Taehyung was left to mope alone except for the rare days he'd catch Seokjin or Yoongi unaccompanied. To say that his and Jungkook's break up was a shock to his friends was an understatement. Yoongi'd thought it was some sort of elaborate prank at first. 

They'd noticed Jungkook change drastically too, but not in the way Taehyung saw it. 

The next time they'd properly seen each other was at the airport, the day Seokjin left for Seoul. Jungkook'd looked at him and averted his eyes almost immediately, shifting from foot to foot. After Seokjin had boarded the plane, Taehyung asked Jungkook where Yoongi was. Jungkook had muttered out that he was sick and that was it. 

For some reason, Taehyung had been miffed by that exchange and with Jungkook acting like he didn't exist. Whenever Jungkook's name would drop in a conversation, Taehyung would roll his eyes, become bitter and would change the topic immediately. Whenever Jungkook would encounter Taehyung on campus, he'd turn the other way. 

Their friends attempted reconciliation between the two but Taehyung turned it down every time.

But some nights, when Taehyung laid wide awake in his bed, he allowed himself to miss the feeling of Jungkook's back pressed against his chest and the weight of Jungkook's hand in his.

 Taehyung has always been sure about his decisions in life. 

He convinced himself he was sure about letting Jungkook go. 

-

a short filler/flashback/whatever the heck this is. my already non-existent writing skills went 💀

anyways Taekook 🥰