Father by chance,grandfather by disappointment

•C H A P T E R 14 : Hakunah matata•

It means no worries, for the rest of your days😁

***Mila's P.O.V***

"Okay heiffers, meet my girlfriend Alexis ."

"Normally i would be like wow you move on quick but this love vybe you two i spreading is strong asf so congratulation, and my name is Caithlyn just call me Caith."

"You are such an arsehole."

"Well first i would like to apologize for walking in on you guys, that was just...yh and two congratulations i can see and feel the love."

"*lol* Thank you and you guys can just call me lex."

Next day

Alexis went home to get ready for work because her boss asked her to come in. So now im just here bored as hell.

*incoming call from Brittany*

Urgh what can she possibly want now after everything she's done and it's a pity because she was actually a really cool friend before we started dating. But honestly i don't even know if i can be her friend...

{Bold=Mila
Italic=Brittany}

Hello

Hey Mila, it's Brittany

I know is there a reason you called me?

I just wanted to apologize and tell you how sorry i am, i never wanted to hurt you or lose you in my life you were there for me when no one else was and i can't imagine you not being in my life anymore. I know I'm not one of your favourite people right now but can you find it in your heart to at least be my friend?

You expect me to forget what you did to me, Brittany you hurt me not once but twice, you broke me and i never thought anyone could do that.

I know and i don't expect you to, even though I hurt you and I'm sooo sorry i just at least would love to remain friends pls Mila.

You broke all the trust in our relationship, so how will i know if i can trust you like a friend?

You can, I promise, I won't hurt you again.

Fine, but it won't be how it used to be before i can assure you that.

I know thank you.

Goodbye Brittany, take care of yourself and the kids.

I will, they love you by the way.

And I them, bye

Bye.

End of convo

I'm so damn bored, i think ill hit the gym, its been exactly 24 hours since I've been to the gym. Besides it gives me an opportunity to de-tense after that call.

At the gym

*wipes sweat

Okay so guess what readers im still in shape lol anyway as im here on the treadmill i see this fine ass dark skin girl across the room lifting weights. Damn how i wouldn't mind fucking up her insides fuck! I can't I have a girlfriend now.
Ok focus Mila you're here to work out and work out only.
But how am i suppose to do that with her across the room with sweat sliding down her chest, while she bites her lips when they give her heavier weights.
You know what imma go do the ropes.
Get it together Mila you can't do to her what Bri did to you. Just focus on your exercise feel the burn yh.

After the gym I headed home took a shower and laid nude in my bed. And you know as amazing human mind is, it made me rethink about everything that's been  happening lately Bri cheated on me, and the next day got a whole new girlfriend, went to the gym and started wet day dreaming about another girl. Fvck what is wrong with me?! Do I really love Alexis? Do I still have feelings for Brittany? Am i using Alexis as a rebound/ a distraction? Big show stopper question.....am I happy?

Now if I'm honest the answers to those questions are:
So much is wrong with me that instead of  asking what is wrong with me I ask myself what's not wrong with me. I used to be such a happy and positive person, that enjoyed life now I can't even recognise myself, I look in the mirror and say to my reflection :"i don't wanna be you anymore, just go the hell away!"

But in reality I know I am to blame for the person that I have become. I am to blame for all the pain anyone is going trough because of me right now and in the future. I am to blame for my life going downhill. I am to blame for my misery. And mostt importantly I am to blame for this depression that I can feel sinking in.

Do i really love Alexis ha I want to, she's an amazing person she just came into my life at the wrong time and she deserves to know that she deserves better than me and her hurt is totally going to be my fault because I pursued her I claimed her all because I'm a complete arsehole! 

As much as I hate to admit I do still have feelings for Brittany. Sure we hated each other in the beginning but ending up in a full fledged relationship, I don't think I ever got over her, she really hurt me but when she did it the second idk the hoe genes of my family came out I claimed Alexis knowing damn well the person I still think about at night is Brittany.
And to make it even worse SHE DOESN'T WANT ME!!! God I'm pathetic.

Yes I am a terrible person, once again I can't recognise myself anymore, the real me, the old me would never use someone for my own benefits yet here I am using poor Alexis that already had a hard past as a distraction.

All of that for nothing because i feel miserable inside. I am not happy, I can't even remember the last time I was Really happy.

After I left the gym I texted the group chat.

{Bold=Mila
Italic=Bella
Underlined=Caithlyn}

Las mariconas(group chat name😂)

Hey guys

Yuurrr 😂😂 don't take me seriously but yes?

Wassgud sus

Look I was thinking later we could just hang out just the three of us?

B*tch we live together so we always hang out😂

^thats what i was gonna say u sure you texted the right chat??😂🤣

Yes I am and yes I am aware of that but i was saying maybe we could do sum different like go to that new bar downtown so yall with it or nah?😌

Ohhh okay hell yes im with we'll chat later at the crib

Ohh its been a minute since I really turned up let's go!💃🔥🔥

Aight bet ttyl✌🏽

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Please comment and tell me what you think so I can know if to continue down this road or change it up pls🤗
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