Chapter 7

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"You know, there's nothing wrong with a polyamorous relationship." Yoongi said to Seokjin a week later, when things were a little less awkward and a little more settled. Seokjin still wasn't talking to Taehyung and Jungkook much, but he always heard them whispering, always saw them glancing, and he always wanted to know what they were saying.

"What?" Seokjin asked. He and Yoongi were, once again, making coffee in the kitchen. Seokjin had been studying how Yoongi made his coffee lately, and it was nothing like his particular taste. It was very close to how Jimin made his coffee, though, and Seokjin could safely assume that there was something going on between them, something he didn't know about.

"Well, I guess it's not exactly polyamorous. But there's nothing wrong with loving two people who love each other and love you back." Yoongi said. He tapped his spoon on the edge of the coffee cup to flick of excess coffee and then placed the spoon on the counter. He turned to Seokjin. "What are you so afraid of? Because you look very scared right now."

"I'm not scared." Seokjin said, but, yeah, he was scared. He was terrified, and he sounded terrified, and he probably did look quite terrified, and Seokjin really just wanted to book it, but there was no booking it with Yoongi- Yoongi would never let anyone out of a conversation as serious or important as the one they were having.

"You're terrified." Yoongi said, and yeah, he was. Seokjin didn't agree, though, and instead turned away, tapping his own spoon on the edge of his coffee cup. Yoongi hovered over him for a few seconds before he left the room. Seokjin was 98% sure he only got out of that one because if Yoongi didn't leave, he would start to miss Jimin, and Seokjin thanked his lucky stars that Yoongi was probably falling in love, too.

-

Two days of peace later, Seokjin was back where he started, sleeping in his room with Jungkook and Taehyung, watching them cuddle, kiss, and fall asleep. He'd missed this so much, the peace, the quiet, his favorite dongsaengs. But now, now he felt a little empty, because there was too much room in his heart that he lost the opportinuty to fill.

(Or, perhaps, he hadn't.)

-

"You love them." Yoongi said. Seokjin really should have learned his lesson by now, to not make his coffee at the same time Yoongi did. "You really love them. I see it. And they really love you, too, and I would really like to know why you're not making out with them right now. I mean, they're both attractive, so that's not a problem. And they both seem pretty open for a third partner, so that shouldn't be a problem either."

"Relationships with more than two people never work out." Seokjin said.

"How do you know? You've never been in a relationship with more than one other person, have you?" Yoongi asked. Seokjin fell silent; his hand stopped stirring his coffee, and his lips pressed together in a tight line. Beside him, Yoongi sighed. "All I'm saying is you shouldn't let them slip away like this. Because they're both really good guys, and you know that, and you all love each other so you shouldn't be scared. You can all work it out."

Yoongi walked away. Seokjin stood at the counter for a long, long time, taking time to consider what Yoongi said. You can all work it out. They could, couldn't they? Because people who loved each other, wanted each other this bad, always found a way to work it out. Seokjin took his spoon from his coffee and took a long sip. He'd have to be very awake if he was going to do what he planned on doing.

-

Seokjin was very hopped up on coffee by the time night rolled around; he'd been drinking it all day. But he kept himself calm, had enough control to hold all of his energy inside. He opened the door to his room calmly and- serious deja vu. There was Jungkook, underneath Taehyung, and the two of them were kissing hard, breathing heavy. Jungkook had his hand down Taehyung's pants, and Taehyung had his hand in Jungkook's hair, and Taehyung was whimpering and squirming and Jungkook was whimpering, too, and their mouths were making such wet noises that Seokjin could hear from feet away.

Seokjin let out a whimper. He hadn't meant to, but he was so upset, because he could be there, he could be with them. He could be kissing Jungkook or he could be kissing Taehyung or he could be pulling Jungkook's hair or he could be touching Taehyung like that and he could be feeling their bodies move the way they were moving and he could be doing so much more than just this physical contact with them but he wasn't because he blew it and they probably didn't even want him anymore-

Taehyung and Jungkook heard Seokjin whimper, and they froze. When they looked at him this time, though, they didn't freak out and break apart as they had the first time Seokjin walked in on them. Instead, they stared, their mouths gaping, their eyes wider than normal. And Seokjin just stood there, because he didn't really have anywhere else to go.

"Hyung." Taehyung's voice was so strained and Seokjin really wanted to cry, because Taehyung could be his and he could be Taehyung's and the look in Jungkook's eyes could be one he saw every day and Seokjin was just so frustrated because Yoongi was right- they could have worked this out, they could have the best relationship ever.

"Hyung." Jungkook began sitting up. His hand slid out of Taehyung's pants, and he got off the bed. His boner was very obvious, and Seokjin wished that would have made him uncomfortable, because then he would leave, and he wouldn't have to watch Jungkook come closer and closer, all hesitant and scared, scared that Seokjin would leave, would avoid them again, because he'd done it before and it wasn't impossible for him to do it again.

"Hyung." Jungkook said again, and he was in front of Seokjin, and Seokjin was shaking so hard he thought he would fall over. A good part of his shakiness had to do with all the coffee he'd drunk, but most of it was just him being nervous and Jungkook standing so close to him and Taehyung giving him that look- Seokjin was going to break.

"I'm sorry." Seokjin whispered. He raised a hand before he could decide that touching Jungkook might not have been the best idea. He pressed his fingers to Jungkook's hips, didn't miss the way Jungkook's breath hitched a little, the way Taehyung tensed up in the background. Seokjin bit down on his bottom lip. "I'm so sorry. I didn't mean to...."

Seokjin forgot what he was trying to apologize for the moment Jungkook stepped away from him. His mind went all blank with thoughts of he hates me now and they don't want me anymore. He stared at them for a long time before he turned around and left the room; he didn't stop to sleep on the couch, didn't walk down the hall to Jimin's room. He ran into the living room, flung open the door and jogged out into the winter winds without a jacket and only slippers on his feet.

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