better off | lucifer

Somewhere In Between

"Hey, hey, Ella, what the hell-" You whispered in annoyance as she literally dragged you in your lab. There was nobody there, the perfect chance for her to finally get some answers.

"Everyone's worried about you and even though you know it, you still act like everything's totally fine, which, by the way? Huge mistake!" She said as she let go, folding her hands to her chest.

Great. Maybe deciding to return to work was not a good idea, after all. Sure, you were feeling worse than yesterday and sure, you wanted to get as away as possible from your workplace, but it was your job. If there was one thing that could help forget your... Issue, even for a minute, was that. Besides, what were you going to tell them? And even if you did explain, what would the point be anyway?

It couldn't be helped, YOU couldn't be helped.

"I'm sorry Ella, I wish I could tell you... I have to think of some things, first. Make some, uh, decisions, yeah, decisions, I guess... And then I'll tell you. All of you, I promise."

Actually, there was one decision you were called to make. A simple yet so complicated one. You decided to postpone it, though fully aware that there was not much time left for more procrastination.

Your thoughts were tangled and so was your heart, you didn't want to let go of your feelings forever, no. You didn't want to turn into a cold person when it came to him. No, even though your love was going to waste, you found yourself unable to let go.

But you were dying and that thought scared you. You were dying and there was nobody that could help but you. You were responsible for what was to happen.

The door behind you suddenly burst open, breaking your thoughts. A smiley Lucifer appeared with one of Dan's beloved puddings in his hands.

"Good morning miss Lopez, y/n..."

You couldn't stand seeing him. You'd been trying to avoid him all day and you believed you were actually doing great... Well, until now.

"I'm sorry, I gotta go, see you later Ella..." Your voice was low and kinda shaky as you tried to remain as calm as possible.

You moved quickly, walking past Lucifer and thinking that he would just let you go... But you knew him too damn well. He could always sense when there was something off, him and Maze making your life harder than it already was. Maybe it was your fault, but you never thought that completely letting your guard down with Lucifer and being so close to him could actually get you killed. At least, in that way.

And too bad you couldn't do the same. Years of friendship and you were still unable to understand why he did what he did and said what he said sometimes. Thinking of Linda's daily struggle to put up with him and his adventures seemed like a great feat.

Lucifer let the pudding on the desk and grabbed your arm as he slowly pulled you back. You let out a deep sigh, as you showed no resistance at all. He had you wrapped around his little finger, not only then, but always.

"What's wrong?" He stared into your eyes, looking for any sign of emotion. Pain, sadness, anything. But there was nothing. Absolutely nothing, for the first time since he met you, he could not tell what your eyes were trying to say. There was definitely something deeper bothering you. And knowing that his little tricks never worked on you, he had to do it with words. Why were you so damn difficult to read, all of a sudden?

"Nothing's wrong, Lucifer. I can't even get sick, now?" You asked in annoyance, feeling your wrist burning under his touch. You had to get away from him, you had to as soon as possible. With him there your brain could not function properly and you were afraid you might accidentally share something you didn't want to. That was your problem, not his. You were the one dealing with unnecessary emotions and unless you got rid of them, well...

"You're sick? I was talking about you throwing weird glances at me from afar and avoiding me like the plague! And why didn't you tell me you were sick? You should be home, rest-" Lucifer placed his other hand on your forehead, searching for any signs of temperature.

"I'm not a baby, Lucifer, and please let me go..."

You felt guilty for being so distant, but you needed to just this once. Your life was on the line and telling Lucifer the truth was definitely not an option. Why mess someone else's life too? No, you wouldn't ruin everything just because of some stupid tulips. Your problem, not his.

You sounded sad and exhausted. Lucifer softly freed your hand from his, frowning.

"Can we talk, please? In private?" He asked, then looking up at Ella who was already nodding.

"Of course, I have a lot of work to do anyway, not that I care about what you'll guys discuss-" Ella popped up, grabbing a few papers from her desk before heading to the door.

"No, no, Ella, it's okay, there's no need to..." You smiled at her weakly. If there was one person leaving, it was you.

"I have nothing to say to you, Lucifer." You lied, biting the inside of your cheek. There were so many things you were dying to tell him but once again, you backed off.

You walked past them both, heading to the only place you've known for the past couple of days; the bathroom. But this time not just petals came out.