How Do I Balance It All?

~Chapter 1

"I love you so much" he says after kissing me deeply, " You are my life and I will never let you go." I can feel his six pack against my tummy taunting me to say yes to his proclamation of love, to his proposal to take care of me and never let go.
Suddenly I feel my self being shaken, and he is starting to disappear "NO" I shout, wanting him to stay forever and protect me from the dangers of the world " Don't Go!"
His image is replaced by two little faces peering down at me confusingly. " Mommy? What are you talking about? We aren't going anywhere, it's time for school" Trevor states. His brother Tyler looks on silently at me, having always been the quiet one between the two, this was normal.
They both are looking at me with there honey-brown eyes. They each have light brown hair and a heart-shaped face. They are my little protectors and I love them with all my heart. They are the only good thing that I got from him.....my ex husband, Samuel. He was abusive, especially after I had the twins. I loved him and I thought he loved me because he married me even though I wasn't the skinniest girl out there. He was nice and sweet in the beginning, just like when we meet at Stony Brook University, but after I had the twins, he began drinking and hitting me, telling me how he fucked so many woman while we were married and I didn't deserve him because I was holding him down. He called me a fat umpalumpa , questioning how he ever married me, I couldn't take it so after a few months of abuse I divorced him, taking the house and half of his earnings. He is a good father however, so he takes the boys ever other weekend, as long as he takes care of them I don't care about anything else.
Speaking of the boys I look at the time and jump out of bed. "7 o'clock!" I grab their hands and rush them to the bathroom, help them wash up and send them to put on their clothes while I go get ready.
Kind of depressed that the dream wasn't real, I pull on my navy colored scrubs and white sneakers. I put my braids in a bun, put my watch on my left wrist and peer into the mirror, making sure I'm ready to go. After I'm done, I run down stairs and take out the boys already made sandwiches and my vitamin water and salad. I try eating healthy but, you know, sometimes it doesn't work out so well and I overeat by the end of the week. Anyway, Trevor and Tyler run down the stairs and as they pass me to go out to the bus that is honking in the front, I give them a kiss, a tight hug, an "I love you, be safe" and then finally the sandwich, stating that I'll see them later. I then grab my food, bag and keys and go in the garage, backing my car out, and speeding down to work, as always, running late.