His Secret Child

4) New Begins

|Emma|

It's been a little over a month since I moved to New York City and let me tell you it hasn't been easy. I've gotten lost so many times in this city that it's unbelievable. But other than that it's been okay, my roommate Ashley is shy so I haven't gotten a chance to get to know her, so I mostly stay out of her way. But in other news, I've recently started feeling really sick and I don't know why, I think it's just a cold but I don't know, something feels off. For example, I've thrown up so much, for the first week I thought I had flu or something but now that's been two weeks I'm getting worried. I'm currently walking back to my dorm room and that's when I feel it, I feel like I'm going to throw up everywhere, I race up the stairs and immediately get my keys out of my purse, jamming them into my doorknob unlocking it, slamming the door open and I run to the bathroom kneeling in front of the toilet letting all of my guts spill into it.

After I'm done, I wipe my mouth sitting on the bathroom floor by the toilet, I feel horrible. I get up off the floor very carefully watching myself because I might throw up again. As I'm walking over to my bed I instantly grab my computer open it and turn it on, I sit down and start opening a new tab. I start to type in why am I throwing up every day, into the search bar.

And then my jaw drops to the ground, and signs you might be pregnant, come up on my computer. Note to self don't look up your symptoms online.

There's no way I'm pregnant. But when I start to think about there might be, I mean it has been over a month since I slept with someone, that being Carter, but we used protection, but then again I did recently go off birth control because it wasn't good for mental health and I was still trying to find one that worked best for me. I take a deep breath trying not to freak out. I get up off my bed and grab my keys and phone before leaving my dorm room.

I get on a local bus to the nearest market, walking into a little Walgreens I head to the aisle with pregnancy tests, and I look down at them. When did pregnancy tests become so expensive, if I really am pregnant I want to be sure, so I grab a somewhat expensive one and head up to the store to pay for it. I am an eighteen-year-old girl buying a pregnancy test what is happening, this all feels so surreal.

I decide to walk back, I don't really know why, maybe it's so I can think or to save money since a spent eighteen dollars on one pregnancy test. As the bright lights of New York City fill the dark sky, I can't help but think of the night that might have made me into a mother, how did my life get so messed up? I had a plan, go to college, get a degree, get a good job, get married, then have children. All I can think is whatever happens it will all be okay, I will love this baby no matter what.

When I finally make it to my dorm room I'm breathing heavily, I slowly walk into the bathroom closing the door and locking it. I try to take some deep breaths in and out as I look at myself in the mirror, as my mind is spinning. How could I just sleep with Carter like that? As I'm thinking I don't realize the tears slowly going down my cheeks, taking one more deep breath in and out I start unboxing the pregnancy test. I read the instructions over and over again, trying not to miss anything that might be important, but it seems pretty simple, the word pregnant will come up if you are, and not pregnant will come up if you're not. As I'm still heavy breathing, I go ahead and peed in the test and then carefully set it down on the counter. The introductions say it takes three minutes for the test to be fully developed, this is going to be the longest three minutes of my life.

When the timer on my phone goes off and carefully walks up to the test I look down at it and pick it up and I notice that my hands are shaking. I try to remind myself to breathe and that everything is going to be okay whatever happens.

And that's when I read the test.

Pregnant.

Oh my god, I'm going to have my best friend's baby, shaking I hit the ground crying as I hold my legs up to my chest, and all I think is that I'm going to have a baby at eighteen. Questions start filling my head what would Carter say? Should I tell him?

I can't, I don't want to lose him, I decide I'm doing this alone. Except I am telling my mom she will help me through this, she will understand. My dad left my mom right after she told him she was pregnant so I have never met him, I unlock the bathroom door walked to the mini fridge, and grab a water bottle, I sigh and grab my phone off the counter and start walking to my bed.

I sit down and try to get comfortable, I'm still holding the pregnancy test in one hand. I unlock my phone and tap the FaceTime mom button, I sigh I don't really know how to tell her so I just put the test in front of the camera breathing heavily and shaking all at once.

"Hi honey, oh my god, wait really," my mom asks me shocked.

"Yes," I breathe out to her shaking my head lightly.

"Oh honey, it's okay, I promise," she reassures me.

"I hope so mom, I really do, but mom it's Carter's," I tell her cautiously.

"Oh my goodness, I'm so happy for guys, this—," she says with a smile on her face.

"He doesn't know, mom, or I guess he doesn't remember," I mutter in sadness now that I'm thinking about it.

"Oh, honey I'm so sorry, I will support you through everything, you know that, when's your first appointment," she asks me looking at me with supportive eyes.

"I don't know yet, but I will make one, I'm so sorry mom," I say starting to cry again.

"Honey, it's okay you're going to be wonderful mother, I know, do you want me to fly out to go to your appointment with you," she asks.

"I would love that mom, thank you, I love you," I tell wiping my tears away.

"Okay honey, no problem, just let me know when it is, and I love you," she tells smiling into the camera.

"I will mom, thank you again, love you," I say.

"Bye honey, see you soon," my mom said.

"Bye mom, see you soon," I say before hanging up the phone and shutting it off.

I'm going to be a mother, I guess life is bout new beginnings, and here I go.

"Even though I'm scared to become a mother, I can't wait to met you,"

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Emma is pregnant and Carter will never know.
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-E
Edited ✔️