love is underrated.

Chapter Thirty-One.

After food, Ant's mom and I sat and watched a movie waiting for Anthony to arrive home. it got to around 1:30 am and he still wasn't home so his mom went to bed and I just sat in Ant's room waiting up for him. I sat scrolling through my phone checking stories and stuff and then I saw Payton's. House shopping? in LA! I had to call him... I grabbed my Mac out of my bag and FaceTimed him right away. It rang a couple times and in answered. "Hey, you look... tired?" He said smiling as he answered. "What time is it there you look bummed." he said as I rubbed my eyes. "Its like nearly 2 in the morning, I'm waiting up for Ant." I said and then Payton shook his head. "Your not with him?" He asked confused and I was even more confused then him. "No he went out with friends at around 5 and he hasn't been back yet." I pulled my hair up into a messy bun because I knew Payton liked seeing me with one. "Oh, Daisy he isn't just with friends." He said his voice getting soft. "What do you mean?" I furrowed my brows. "Well you know how we have that boys group chat?" He asked and I nodded. "He's been snapping us all night he's at a party, there's tons of people there I though you was too." He explained and I panicked. 

Why would he lie, what was he doing. "Sure he is, wow I'm so stupid." I started to get upset I never knew I could be so bothered about a little thing like this. "Daisy I need to ask you something again? I asked you this before and I just need to know okay?" Payton said his voice breaking as if he was about to cry. "Anything." I smiled weakly. "Do you love him?" I paused. I couldn't find a feeling in me to even say to Payton. " I care about him, but he's hurt me and I just need that trust I guess." I said trying to avoid the question since I felt bad not being able to say it. "No Daisy, that's not it. That's not it. Do you love him?" he started getting angry I knew Payton cared about me and he never wanted me to get hurt, I couldn't keep lying to myself, or to him anymore. "No." I said softly. "I'm scared Pay, I don't want to keep getting hurt." I tear fell down my cheek. "Then what are you doing there, leave Daisy." he scowled. "Thats not it Pay. I came here so we could work on things and its only been 1 day." I wiped the tear away as a though of what I was actually doing here and it was so going to be worth it by the end of the week. "One day and where is he, I don't see him do you?" Payton seemed so angry and concerned it just made me question everything. I miss him more than ever, I need him to give me a hug and tell me everything is going to be okay, but I can't. Then I heard the door of a car bang shut outside. He was home. "He's back now." I said and Payton just looked so annoyed at me. "Daisy I'm always here for you but you have to realise that sooner or later this isn't right." He pushed his hair back ruffling the ends. One thing I do know is that Payton is gorgeous and since leaving tour I have just wanted to be back with him. I get on with him better than anybody else in my life and he just makes everything make sense. 

"What's not right huh?" Ant stood leaning on the door way. "Hi hunny." I said quickly sliding the phone under the pillow without hanging up. He walked closer tripping over and stumbling to the floor. The smell of beer followed him over to the bed. "You're drunk." I said disappointed. "So what, is that a problem." He said bouncing down on the bed next to me. "No not a problem." I rolled over facing the other way. I was so annoyed at him, he lied, he's drunk, he's been gone for hours and now he's being like this. "Tonight was so fun, there was this party and we did strip truth or dare and this on chick she got her ass out." He said hysterically laughing, like was he serious. "Bro that's fucked up, she don't deserve you." Payton said and the sound came through the pillow. "Oh, looks like you've had fun tonight then, catching up with your buddy." Ant snarled getting the phone out and ending the call. "I was just talking to him Ant that's it." I said moving away from him on the bed. "No." He shouted and he grabbed my wrist pulling me into him. "I wanna cuddle." He said softly and I was just getting more and more mad. "I don't want to cuddle, you smell like booze, you've been looking at other girls ass's and you left me here all day. Can you just go to sleep please." I snapped and his eyes just glared at me. "Bitch." He brought his hand up to my face and then pain just sunk down through my skin. I looked up at him tears filling my eyes and I stood up slowly moving away from him holding my face with my hand to sooth the pain. His eyes softened and he looked back at me with a shocked look on his face. "Oh shit, I'm so sorry, I didn't meant too. Fuck." He stood up trying to come over to me. "Don't, leave me alone." He pushed him back and he looked so shocked. "Just go to bed. we'll talk tomorrow." I got under the covers after I grabbed my phone and I turned over facing away from Ant. Tears just fell down my cheeks, I didn't want to show him I was crying. He was drunk. It's just a stupid mistake. Everything will be okay in the morning.

I couldn't sleep. The whole night a lay awake just thinking about what happened. Did he mean it? No I know Anthony would never hurt me like that, yes we argue but he was just mad it was my fault, I shouldn't have called Payton. Anthony began to stir and I just sat in the chair watching him as he turned over facing me. "Holy shit what happened. He sat up super quick and rubbed his eyes to wake himself up more. He came over to me and stroked my cheek with his thumb, I flinched at his touch, I was still a little shaken up since last night. "Daisy?" he said softly looking in to my eyes and I just nodded my head. I knew that he knew what he did, and I knew he was sorry. "I can't let my mom see this she will flip." He said pacing the room with his hands behind his head. "I can cover it." I said looking down at the floor. I hated the way things were I couldn't help but just cry. I have never felt so down. Anthony way the person who was meant to protect me and these past few moths all he has do is hurt me. I sobbed and just sat there cuddling my knees to my chest resting my chin atop of my knees. "I'm sorry okay, I'm so fucking sorry." Ant came over cradling me in his lap. He lifted me out of the chair and placed me on his knee. "Ant where were you, I needed you last night, and you weren't here." I sobbed hitting his chest. "I know I'm sorry, I was a dick. I've hurt you and that kills me." He rubbed my head and I could feel his breath agains my skin. "We came here to fix things and they're not getting better." I said looking up to him. His eyes were so soft and his lips too, he lent down kissing my forehead. "We can do this, this week is for us." He smiled and I hugged tightly into his chest.