Being AroAce

"How I knew I was AroAce"

Since I was 6 years old my "friends" used to asked me if I liked someone, my answer was always "no" but they didn't believe me and started to bother me and calling me "liar" and they said me " everyone needs to like someone"so I told them I liked some random boy, after that they stopped to bother me but I didn't feel good with myself, after they told me that I stared to feel bad with myself, why I wasn't like them? Am I weird? Those questions only made me feel worse.
Some years later when I was 12 my "girl friends" stared to talk about boys, they used to show me some photos of "hot guys" and how they would love to fuck them, I would  only smile at them feeling uncomfortable without saying anything; that's when I started to feel bad myself again, but this time was worse, I felt like some kind of creep because I wasn't like them.
One year later I stared to being friends with a nice girl, some months after we met I was talking about how much I loved the Harley Quinn, and how I hated Harley being with the joker because he didn't loved her, the she said "yeah I don't like her being with the joker neither, I mean I like the joker but he's an asshole with her, that's why I love Harley being with Ivy"  when she said that I was so shocked and amazed; my mind went "hddgjshd you can like girls?!!!" Then she told me Harley was bisexual (I guess she told me that cuz I just stayed in silence like stupid) that same day in the afternoon I searched what was "LGBT" when I saw the term "lesbian" I thought maybe I'm a lesbian because I've never liked a boy; I felt "good"with that term I was using it almost a year, and I also came out to my friends but  a girl that was supposed to be my "friend" told other people about it, I got mad but i didn't tell her anything; some days later an annoying girl asked me "hey, are you really a lesbian, like would you actually fuck a girl?"  I didn't answer so she left mad but I didn't care; what was on my mind was  the term "fuck" because no, I wouldn't fuck a girl nor a boy, I wouldn't fuck anyone, I wouldn't date them in the first place; that exactly moment I felt totally broken; the same day at night I remember crying, I hated myself because I wasn't "normal" I spent some months feeling broken. It was until I was 14 when I saw the term asexual and aromantic  for the first time, and when I red  the meaning of those words I  stared to cry because I realized I wasn't broken, I wasn't a creep, I was totally normal; it was the first time since I was 6 that I could feel comfortable with my romantic and sexual orientation.

Thanks for reading, hope you guys are having a nice day (o^^o)