Stormy Grey & Hazel Brown - A White Christmas Tale

Special POV Malfoy

I was completely lost.

What the bloody hell was going on with me? It has been three years we are prefects together and I have been able to not raise a clue so why was this happening now??

I stare at my red face in the bathroom mirror. I quickly yet roughly splash some cold water on it to try and cool me down. I leave my face wetted and slowly sit down on the floor.

My mind unconsciously goes back to the first time I realized I had grown feelings for her. None other than my "sworn enemy", Hermione Granger.

Third-year Granger. That was about when she started to develop her "woman" features. Although she still looked a bit like a cute baby. Honestly, before that I never held anything against her – apart from my evil-boy play-act – but I could never quite put my finger on why my heart started to beat faster whenever she passed by. It would only hit me later, of course: I had completely fallen for her. Her and her adorable wits, her delicate walk, and that beautiful smile.

Yet still, she was completely unreachable for me. She would never know, but just for her being who she is and me being who I pretend to be, she is way out of my league.

However, I always thought it would be for the best. I always knew she deserved someone, anyone, who was way better than me. To be fair, I didn't deserve her. Even though it was all just one big act, I could never deserve her, for my lies and my cowardice.

I figured it couldn't be hard. I had a whole bunch of girls falling for the "bad boy" style I developed and I thought that I could always be happy as long as she was.

I was never more wrong, of course. Just the sight of her beautiful self at the Yule Ball with someone else's hands around her made my heart sink to the ground and my anger rise to the skies. I still feel bad for leaving my date by herself that night but I just couldn't bear it any longer.

The worst part was the after match, though. She doesn't know it but I saw her entering the common room crying, late in the night. It made me feel so powerless that I couldn't be the one to be there to console her, and that there really was no one to do so. All I could think of was how much I wanted to punch whoever made her cry like that, thinking that if it were me, I would never let this happen to her. Of course, as soon as that thought crossed my mind I came back to my senses.

Heh, yeah... it could never be me, right? What was I thinking...

It came to a point that it started to bother me. The fact that I loved her so much I couldn't be with her. It didn't take long for it to canalize anger, that I ended up taking off on mindless sex with any girl interested enough. Sure, it was arousing, but all that pleasure meant nothing and it only seemed to fuel me up even more. I couldn't get that gorgeous brunette out of my mind – and it was driving me insane.

I figured it would be best to try and suppress it until it was gone instead of discounting it on every other girl's pussy. What bothered me though was that a good part of me – a part I was aware of – did not want it to be gone. She was the first person to ever make my heart beat that way, the first person I constantly worried about, the first person I thought of when I woke up, the first person I couldn't stand to see crying, the first person I loved to see smiling.

She was my first.

But still, why is it that all of this is coming to surface so suddenly?? I was proudly able to hide it pretty well up until today! She could never know about this! The poor thing's already having a hard time trying to believe I'm not the person she always thought I was, what will it be of her if she finds out that to top it all off I have feelings for her?!

Okay, Draco, get yourself together.

I got up and dried the remaining water off my face to not raise any suspicions. I walked out of the bathroom and sat myself back to where I was. Granger looked at me a bit confused.

"What happened?" She asked slightly worried.

"Oh, no big deal. I guess I was just a bit feverish." I make up an excuse.

"Well, are you feeling better now?" Her tone didn't change. That touched me slightly, enough for me to raise my eyes to the adorable sight of her heavily red nose tip. I can't hold back a chuckle. "What?" She was starting to sound annoyed.

"You're the one who seems cold." I say, taking advantage of the conversation to admire her delicate features.

"And why do you say that?" She asked a bit angered.

"Need I answer... Rudolph?" I lean in on top of the table, getting dangerously close to her.

Her face now reddened entirely and she covered her cheeks with both of her hands. She turned her body sideways.

"I-I" She stuttered. "I'm just cold!" She abruptly got up and made her way to the windows, closing them. She then got back to her seat, and started to lightly tap her cheeks. And yet again I laughed with myself. This time, she faced me seriously annoyed.

"What is it now?"

"I'm sorry." I glanced at her. "You're just way too cute." The words came out of my mouth without me even noticing it. Her face turned a bright tomato red and I soon became aware of what I had just said. An awkward silence roamed the room as she started to look away from me. I decided to try and not make things worse, so I changed the topic of the conversation. "S-so!" My voice cracks. Great, Draco, make yourself even more embarrassed. I cleaned my throat and she seemed to hold back a chuckle, which relieved me. "Hum, I believe I'm almost done here; do you have any suggestions as to how I should end it?"

"Oh, I don't know..." She looked down on my parchment trying to read what I had written. I turned it sideways for her to see it better. "I guess... since you didn't put it anywhere else, you could wrap it up by mentioning some honorable potions masters and their techniques." She pointed out some things in different books. I nodded in agreement.

"Okay! Thank you!" I gave her a wide smile and she seemed surprised. I just laughed with myself as I started to write down my last paragraph.

"You have nice handwriting, by the way." She said turning around, almost in a whisper, her hand over her mouth, as if she didn't want me to hear.

Oh, but did I hear it perfectly fine.

"Thank you." I lifted my head and placed my kindest smile, watching the redness of her covered cheeks reach below her hand-free hazel eyes. "There." I muttered after a while as I finished my last paragraph, finally completing that enormous essay. I got up and started to pack my things and she seemed surprised to watch me go.

"Oh." She looked lost. "You're already done?"

"Yeah." I was closing my ink pot. "Why, do you want me stay longer? I thought my presence bothered you." I started to toy with her.

"Well, the majority of the time yes." She answered with a straight face. That hurt my feelings. "But then again, you've been around so much lately... I guess I kind of got used to it." She seemed reluctant to say those words, almost as if she was feeling too ashamed to say them.

"You know," I placed my materials back on the table. "You keep teasing me for blushing but you sure are a walking tomato."

"Well that's because you keep making me uncomfortable!" She said impulsively, blushing even more afterwards, her eyes popping wide open. That made my heart skip a beat. Oh, great.

"Oh, do I really?" I started to get close to her. Yep, I guess I can accept I can no longer control myself around her. As I got closer, she started to shrink in her chair. "And why is that, Miss Granger?" I placed a hand on the back of her chair, my face inches away from hers, my heart beating rapidly in my chest as my body became filled with heat.

"Get away from me Malfoy!" She shrieked. I looked down at her expression and she seemed afraid and, it hurts me to say this but, a bit disgusted. I realized I couldn't break my foul image so easily, and she still hated me. My heart sank once more as I slowly got back to my materials.

"I'm sorry." I picked everything up. "I won't bother you again." I went to my bedroom and locked myself in, my heart bellow my feet and a defeated smile across my lips, my emotional completely crushed by that outstanding brunette standing just outside my door.