Every Waking Moment [NaNoWriMo14]

T w o

                         ☂     C h a p t e r  T w o     ☂

Patrick placed his right arm around my shoulders protectively. I liked that he cared enough about me to be protective. It sent a statement: I was his and there was little anyone could do about it. Although, Saturday night had really got me thinking; maybe I didn’t like being his. Maybe I wanted someone to do something about it.

I was tired of constantly having to fight for my virginity. Patrick was my boyfriend. He had to understand that I just wasn’t quite ready yet. I wasn’t saving myself for marriage or “the one”; I didn’t believe in either if I was honest. Patrick and I had been together for almost seven months now; I guess I could understand why he was growing impatient.

It wasn’t like I was completely depriving him though. He had seen me naked a number of times – a sight which he repeatedly informed me he craved – and I had seen his toned flesh bare as well. And we had experimented sexually.

But I guess nothing compared to sex in his mind.

He wasn’t a virgin.

He knew more about it than I did.

Surely seven months was more than enough time for me to become accustomed to the idea... so why did I not want to take the next step with him?

We sauntered into the lunch hall and I slipped from Patrick’s embrace. I had a packed lunch whereas he preferred what the public schooling system had to offer. The cafeteria was a large, well-lit room with a mass of tables, benches and rowdy students; all pretty standard.

I found my usual table where it normally stood at the heart of the room. My friend’s liked the location; it was very central. They liked to be seen and they knew there was no better way to achieve this than by forcing their existence on everyone by choosing a prime location and talking several decibels louder than was necessary. I had conformed to their society but I could never quite bring myself to be nearly as self-absorbed as they all naturally were.

It was my second year at Woods Port High but I was admitted to their “clan” the first day I stepped foot into the halls of the tired school building. My blonde hair and cheerleading background apparently automatically guaranteed me a place in their plastic hearts, right beside their exploding egos’ and exclusive credit cards.

I took a seat next to Hanna and offered her a brief smile as I placed my less-than-attractive lunch bag on the table and unzipped it to reveal the contents. My mother maintained a strict diet which she forced me to carry out as well. I didn’t exactly mind the salads and low-calorie lunch bars; they were actually quite appetizing. I just didn’t like that she didn’t give me the option to eat a mound of chips if I felt like it.

According to her, I had to sustain the perfect physique in order to exceed in cheerleading. My body had to stay toned and I couldn’t even think about skipping gymnastics training on Saturday mornings or she would blow a fuse. Again, I didn’t exactly mind. I didn’t like to fight her; I had learnt my lesson during infancy when she made it more than clear that I had few decisions of my own to make in this lifetime.

Gymnastics classes weren’t that much of a burden two years ago when I had an actual class to go to but the town of Woods Port was so small that there were no formally arranged programmes in place. As a substitute, my mother decided she would take on the role of my coach since she had spent a good part of her teenage years cheering for her high school’s football team and thought she could easily translate her experiences to me.

But my mother was annoying as a human being and a coach.

She demanded for more than I could achieve and then got angry when I was not able to deliver.