Come back to me (Loki x reader)

Nightmares

You still had nightmares.

Five years later they still came to you in your sleep, the memories and images of your friends, no, your family, turning to dust. They were there one minute and gone the next. You could remember clinging to Thor, thinking that he couldn't go too, he was like your brother, he couldn't be taken from you too, not after... no, don't think about him. Not Loki. Those were the worst nightmares, the ones that hadn't allowed you to sleep for months after his death, where you woke up sweating and sobbing and reaching out for him, only to realize that it wasn't a nightmare... it had really happened. The first few months had been torture; no one had known what to do or say. Gradually it began to get easier, the raw pain turning into a dull ache, and most people began to move on with their lives... but not you. Thor left within the first couple of months, and you'd been tempted to follow him, but figured you owed it to everyone who wasn't there anymore to work alongside Nat, Steve, Rocket, Rhodey and the others who'd decided not to give up, to try and work out a way to bring them back, as far-fetched as it may seem. Tony left too, to start his new life with Pepper, leaving you lonelier than ever. Tony had been like a father to you, and as much as you wanted to leave the pain behind, you couldn't just start a new life and pretend it had never happened. Besides, where would you go? The Avengers compound was your home. So, you stayed.

For five years.

Until one day, everything changed. And change came in the form of Scott Lang.

You sat and listened to this seemingly crazy dude with Natasha and Steve, exchanging bewildered looks when he began to talk about time travel and a place called the 'quantum realm'. When he was done, there were several moments of silence.

"Time travel." Steve said. Scott nodded.

"We need Tony." You said, and Nat nodded vigorously. And suddenly there was a glimmer of hope.

Your trip to Tony proved unsuccessful, and you couldn't say you blamed him for not wanting to risk his perfect life for a crazy scheme that might not even work. You could see how happy he was with Pepper and Morgan, and you were reluctant to remind him of Peter, and of how not everyone had been as lucky as him and Pepper, having the chance to start a new life.

Your next option was Bruce, or 'Professor Hulk' as you decided to start calling him when you saw him, who luckily was more helpful, and willing to try Scott's crazy idea. Which turned out to be not such a crazy idea when (after a few inconveniences) it worked. It really worked. As you stood before Scott (present day Scott, not baby or 97-year-old Scott) who had just come back from the first test run and looked pretty shaken up, your mind started to work double time, thinking of all the possibilities that had just been opened up... maybe you could go back to before Thanos got hold of the tesseract, to save Loki...

"Time travel!" announced Bruce happily.

A day had passed, and you hadn't got any further in working out how to move forward with your delicate system of time travel, until Tony showed up. He had the answer, and that's when you became certain that this was going to work. It had to work, because now you'd been given hope.

You went to meet Thor (who wasn't exactly looking his best) in 'New Asgard' and bring him back to the Avengers compound, to formulate a plan. You had worked out where all the stones were, three in New York, two on Vormir and Morag, and one in Asgard, and now you had to decide who would go where. Clint and Natasha would go to Vormir for the soul stone, Rhodey and Nebula to Morag for the power stone, Thor and Rocket to Asgard to collect the aether from Jane, which left you, Tony, Steve and Scott to go to New York, to get the time and mind stones, and the tesseract.

This decision hadn't been made lightly on your part, you were going back to a time where Loki didn't know you, didn't love you, and was being controlled by Thanos, which was hardly your idea of a fun time. Tony had taken you to one side and reminded you of this after you'd made your decision.

"Y/N, are you sure?" he'd asked you, with a worried expression on his face. "We don't want you to, well..."

"Mess things up?" you'd asked, a hint of a smile on your face.

"Yes obviously, but that's not what I was going to..."

"Tony, I'll be fine. The tesseract is the priority, we need this to work."

He nodded, looking relived.

"As long as you're sure Y/N."

And that's how you'd wound up in a time travel suit, with a bracelet on your wrist which was about to suck you back into 2012 New York, where a huge battle was raging, and more importantly, where three infinity stones were located in close proximity to each other.

You stood in a circle with the others, who all looked how you felt – incredibly nervous.

Steve said some words, but you weren't listening; all you could hear was a ringing in your ears, and all you could think about was the fact that you were about to see Loki again, really see him, alive.

You looked up to see everyone putting their hands in the middle of the circle, and you followed suit, attempting to control your shaking hand.

"Ready?" Tony asked, and everyone gave brisk nods.

"Good luck."