The Good and the Bad

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This is a poly Maria/Natasha/Pepper chapter that I thought I'd add in. Next chapter will be back to the regularly scheduled program.

Natasha is running through the forest, sticks snapping beneath her and splitting open her bare feet. There's yelling in the distance and sirens too, flashes of light shining momentarily through the darkness as dogs trace her scent. Natasha is terrified, her heart is racing and she's breathing heavily but she continues on, running from the monsters chasing her. Trees are rushing past her and branches catch on her hair, her clothes, her skin. The muscles in her legs are burning and her feet are leaving a trail of blood. The dogs will smell it, she's sure. They'll find her. Natasha can only run for so long before they catch up.

Somebody is calling her name. It distracts her and she stumbles over the root of a tree. She's falling. Falling. Falling and bracing for impact. There's a jolt and then Natasha sits upright, eyes wide and blinking. The forest is gone. There's a hand on each of her arms and somebody's soft voice. She's in her bedroom. How is she in her bedroom?

"Is was just a nightmare, Nat," the voice soothes and Natasha turns. Her heart is still racing, she's sweating and shaking but Maria is here.

"You're okay," another voice whispers softly, running a hand up her arm. Pepper. The voice is Pepper's, Natasha realizes belatedly. Natasha lets out a breath she didn't know she was holding and slumps against the headboard of their bed. Both women follow, comforting her. There's a hand on her thigh and another on her right shoulder and another rubbing circles into her back and another on her left arm. Hands. So many hands moving and touching. And hurting.

Natasha is back there again. A million miles away as hands poke and prod her body like they're about to dissect her. Maybe they are. She's scared, hyperventilating as people in surgical masks lean over her. She can't move, she's trapped and there's a light blinding her. Somebody has a scalpel and they're cutting into her skin. Deeper. Deeper. Somewhere, a little girl screams.

The doctors — though she doubts they have any medical degrees — are speaking. She doesn't know what they're saying but they're still cutting deeper into her skin. It burns. It hurts more than anything she's ever felt. Their latex gloves are covered in blood as they lift the desired object out of her body. A fetus, not even a fully formed baby is in their hands. It's demonic, with red eyes and skin as black as coal. Natasha doesn't know how it got there. She's scared. Somebody needs to help her. Help. Help. Somewhere, a little girl screams. Somewhere, a little girl dies.

"Tasha!" Pepper's voice cuts through, strong and clear. Natasha blinks. Once. Twice. Three times and she's back in her bedroom. "You're safe. You're in our bedroom right now. You had a nightmare."

Pepper is repeating this, grounding her to the present. It's a distraction, part of Natasha knows, and she appreciates it. Her breathing is coming in short gasps and her hands are shaking like crazy. It feels like her entire body is on fire, her neck and face and arms burning a fiery red. Her lips and feet have gone numb and Natasha knows that a panic attack is coming quickly. She tries to stifle it, bury all the anxiety and even out her breathing but that just makes it worse.

She almost chokes because of how ragged her breathing is and Maria immediately jumps into action. "Nat, honey, can I touch you. It's just me, okay? Not Pepper or anybody else."

Natasha nods, secretly relieved that Maria excluded Pepper. It makes her feel guilty but a part of her knows that four hands is way too many right now. Suddenly, there's a hand on her collarbone, resting right above her sternum. Natasha immediately reaches for it and grips onto the wrist, trying to ground herself.

"Just breath Tasha. Inhale. One, two, three. Exhale. One, two, three," Pepper counts with her steadily, touching the pillow at her side instead of Natasha.

"You're doing amazing baby," Maria encourages as she continues to keep her cool hand against Natasha's flushed skin. "You're doing absolutely perfect, just keep breathing."

As Natasha finally starts to calm down, she realizes there are tears streaming down her face. When that started, Natasha has no idea. The mattress shifts and Pepper sits back down on it. Natasha didn't even realize she had left but now she's curling back up next to Natasha with a water bottle just when she knows she's going to need it. Natasha grabs for it greedily and Pepper immediately hands it to her, the seal already broken. She gulps half of the water down in seconds and lets go of Maria's wrist. Maria, because she's perfect, knows to take her hand off Natasha's body.

Pepper takes the water bottle from Natasha as soon as she's done with it and grabs the throw blanket from the edge of the bed. Maria's grandma had crocheted it for her right before she'd died. Natasha tiredly sinks down into the mattress and Pepper throws the blanket over all three of them.

Maria is on the left side, one arm resting under Natasha's head and the other on the redhead's hip, rubbing soothing patterns into her skin. Pepper is on the right, one hand carding through Natasha's hair and the other holding her hand, rubbing Natasha's knuckles gently with her thumb. Their ankles and feet are all tangled together at the end of the bed and Natasha is squished comfortably between the two women.

"Are you ready to go back to sleep?" Maria asks gently as Natasha yawns, completely worn out from the emotional hour they just had. Natasha nods and hums tiredly in agreement.

"'m sorry," Natasha mumbles into Maria's arm as she tries to hide her face in shame. Her girlfriends are having none of her bullshit, though.

"Don't apologize for your past, Nat," Maria insists, bringing her other hand up to gently lift Natasha's face.

"We love you," Pepper adds. "Every part of you, the good and the bad."

Natasha — though she'll deny it later — blushes and burrows deeper under the covers and closer to the loves of her life.

You've reached the end of published parts.

⏰ Last updated: Feb 27, 2021 ⏰

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