Immortalys

Chapter Thirty: Az'claitthe

A soft tapping noise faded in and out of Altair's consciousness. He awoke suddenly, his whole body tensing up.

"Altair!" came Seneca's voice from outside the door. After a moment he whispered to someone, "He's probably asleep. Let's come back later."

"It's been eight hours," Andromeda hissed quietly. "I'm getting a little anxious."

Seneca whispered something in response that Altair couldn't hear, and then the sound of their footsteps walking softly away made him relax.

Altair opened his eyes and found himself still on the floor. The Cabin was much darker than it had been earlier, the only lights now being the faint bluish ones around the door and the ceiling. The atmosphere felt a little clearer, a little lighter; they must have lifted from the surface of Amn-Heuthe by now and gotten into space. He knew he would have been rather indignant if they had left any other planet without his say-so, but in this case he didn't care in the least.

Altair, peering blurrily around at the walls, suddenly realized how pitiful he would look if someone happened to peer into the room: the great Altair Chasm, crumpled up on the floor, his hair askew, probably with the appearance of not having slept in days... Well, he reminded himself grimly, that was often his normal complexion. Self-conscious, he attempted to get to his feet, but his hands had been completely numbed from being underneath his body for eight hours and his wrists had no strength whatsoever. He rolled onto his back and stared up at the ceiling, wincing as a hot prickling sensation began in his fingers and spread up his arms, the telltale sign of extremities recovering from restricted blood flow.

His shaming thoughts of what people would think if they glimpsed him at that moment were then interrupted with an intense feeling of hunger. He hadn't had breakfast that morning since he had been so nervous; now he wondered if he should summon some courage and go have dinner with his colleagues. Seneca would act normally and be chill with everything, but Andromeda would again express her worry over Altair's emotional state (and probably physical state, too).

I can't hide from them forever, Altair muttered to himself, and he tried once again to stand up. Once he was on his feet, he made the mistake of glancing out of the Cabin window, which had turned from opaque to transparent after liftoff— the stars spinning in a huge circle brought him instant dizziness, and he stumbled forward and collapsed onto a low cushion-seat in the center of the room.

Irritated, Altair scrambled to a normal sitting position and scrutinized his knees so he didn't have to look out of the window. Yes, he definitely needed food.

What was wrong with him? Did his disappointment really drain that much energy from his body? To his relative comfort, he conceded that he would never have to experience such a thing again. There was nothing about himself left to sleuth out. He had found out everything— plus some— that he ever had needed to know.

It could have been anyone, Altair found himself thinking dully, but it had to be me. Of course it had to be me.

The initial shock was over. He knew it shouldn't have surprised him as much as it had; of course Amn-Heuthe would be able to cook up an organization like Creu-Nhau, and of course he should have seen the signs all along that he had no family.

The truth was, Altair realized, that it didn't matter to him what Creu-Nhau's profession was. Their most heinous crime of all was the record-keeper's shaming words to him. This newfound information, this apathy, this belittlement, all it did was remind him of the things they had taken from him; or, in a wider respect, all the things he had lost over the course of his travels. First disappeared any promise of a good childhood. Then it was the unparalleled kindness of Laeota... then the old friends from E'chtėrough who had meant so much to him... then the gentle embrace of a certain young lady with a voice like a songbird and happy grey eyes... the hope for a family to call his own... All taken from him by forces beyond his control.