The Mystery of Anaïs Harper Hill.

we get lost, in the in-between

we get lost, in the in-between. - Dear Evan Hansen

~~~

She, in fact, did not feel better.

Was it possible to feel worse after a six-hour nap? Granted, she woke up at 11 pm having done nothing of what she was supposed to do (which was a lot of study), but she never felt the guilt of skiving off homework in favour of gossip or youtube.

Back on the web to complain about her workload to any unwitting victims, she finally went back to work. After all, two 10 minute speeches won't write themselves. Neither would depressing poetry, an extensive melody, or second-rate stories on second-rate websites. Fortunately for her, she discovered the catharsis of writing early on in her existence, from writing short stories, poems, songs and constructing alternate realities.

Writing was a gateway to untangling thoughts, emotions and moods. Compiling a rather impressive archive of work, she kept them to herself, allowing her to wallow in her misery without letting anyone in. Her mind was wired differently to most people's. Where people went from A to B in a straight line, The mind of Anaïs took roughly 7 detours along the way. She has the gift of seeing things a different way to most, but was unfortunately rather terrible at communicating her ideas. And that was her downfall in the end. She didn't tell her parents how she was feeling during the event, she allowed them to make assumptions - "She's just grieving" or "she'll come around". No, she was a robot. She only spoke when called upon, only ate when I overrode her emotional circuits. "I'm fine", was perhaps the biggest lie she has gotten away with telling. Still gets away with telling.

If you get to know her, she seems like any other ordinary 16 year old girl. Goes to a good school, has a solid set of friends, a close and tight-knit family, two dogs. How typical, I'm sure you'll agree. Wrong. Underneath the warm and inviting facade she constructed, was a total mess. I had to deal with tornado warnings and firestorms and tsunamis and earthquakes for so long. I still do. But no one would know, unless she told them.

At school, she was average. An average looking person, with average grades, and an average amount of friends. She had an average skill set (her musical advancements contrasted her physical inability to do any sport-related activities), average personality (sweet yet savage), average hair length (not short, but not quite waist length, where she wanted it to be), average family. Well, almost average family. Average on the outside, torn on the inside. She couldn't describe it, probably, but I guess over the course of your stay, she'll reveal it, whether she wants to or not. She has too many triggers to keep it on the down low.

You just have to wait for her to break.

~~~

xlyssx