October || Narry au

𝑜𝑐𝑡𝑜𝑏𝑒𝑟 19𝑡ℎ

niall

"That's great, thank you so much," I nodded, trying not to breathe too heavily into the receiver as I stole a glance at Harry, "okay well, I'll see you this afternoon. Alright, bye."

Once I'd ended the call, I slipped my phone into my pocket before headed towards the sofa. Harry was curled up under one of Izzy's blankets, his legs right up to his chest, his gaze vacant and unfocused. He didn't even look up when I sat down.

"Denise has just dropped Izzy off, baby." I said softly, gently taking his limp hand. It was scarily cold, especially considering the blanket wrapped around him, but I tried my best to swallow the worry. Every time I'd had a bit of a panic at him the last few days, he'd shut me out completely, for at least a good few hours. And that was the last thing I wanted right now. After the paper incident, it almost felt like he'd been making good progress in the right direction. He seemed calmer, although not completely, and had even started holding my hand of his own accord, following me around the house whenever I was doing jobs. But I knew that was simply him wanting to feel safe, even if I wished it was more. I'd been trying even harder than normal to push away my dreams recently, desperate to just stay in the present with him, be here and take care of him as best I could.

"I'm going to pop out to the shop for some more detergent and a few other bits. I won't be more than twenty minutes though. Alright?" I asked softly, keeping my voice low and as gentle as possible. He stayed still, not even changing the pace of his breathing. I felt like an idiot for being hurt by his lack of reaction, but I was only human. Without another word, knowing it was no use, I got up, leaning down only briefly to kiss the back of his hand before heading into the hallway to get my converse. There seemed to be some sort of permanent deadweight in my stomach at the minute, right under my ribs, a feeling so tight that is was sometimes hard to even breathe. I'd been throwing up quite regularly this past week, but the guy from 111 had just told me it was stress related. Helpful, but then again, everything seemed like that right now. People tried their best to make things easier. But there was nothing easy about watching your husband suffer from a crippling mental illness. That, and I'm sure a lot of our friends thought he was just 'being dramatic' or 'girly' for a while, but when he started refusing to leave the house, telling them about how people were trying to kill him, they backed off. Suffice to say, I hadn't spoken to a lot of them in a while. Zayn and Liam were the only two guys who never had anything bad to say about Harry or even me. They'd been amazing and I just felt guilty that I couldn't put the time in with them right now.

"I want to come with you."

I physically jumped out of my skin, scooting back and staring wide eyed in the direction of the living room doorway. One of my laces was only half done up, my keys now on the floor after dropping them in surprise, but that was all forgotten when I laid eyes on Harry standing in the doorway. He'd left the blanket on the sofa, I guessed, and was now cowering just this side of the doorframe, his shoulders trembling a little as he took shakily deep breaths.

"Are you sure, pet?" I asked, picking up my keys and pocketing them, but not breaking eye contact once. He closed his eyes, nodding as he wrapped his arms around his torso.

"Don't want to be alone." He murmured, but I barely had a chance to register his words before he was approaching me, still hanging his head, like a child that'd just received a scolding. My heart burned for him.

"I'm here, it's okay. Of course you can come with me, baby." I nodded, gasping a little as he suddenly took my hand. I'm pretty sure I utterly forgot how to breathe for a moment. He just sighed, nodding and lowering his head to my shoulder. I hushed him a little, trying to make sure my body language was positive as I stroked my thumb over his knuckles. I'd read online that people suffering mental episodes of any kind benefited greatly from other's positivity, and, honestly, at this point I was ready to try anything.