A Court of Secrets and Deceptions

Alaric POV

She was ruffling my hair and suddenly she traced down my neck to my wings. Normally I wouldn't let any girl near my wings. But Elentiya wasn't an average girl. So I let her. She touched then and I winced. She pulled back her hand. When I first met her she was the strongest person I knew and I couldn't figure out why. Now I know why. Because she's broken down and can still wear a smile. She's broken and can still give 110 percent. That's why I loved her.

"Please, if I was going to marry my dream girl without any problems then I already would've married her."

She dropped her hand. "Oh. So who's the lucky girl."

"More like I'm the unlucky male. She'll have nothing to do with me. Won't see me as anything but a friend." Elentiya looked down.

"Well I think she would be very dumb to not see how great of a male you are." She turned around and started to doze off. "Very dumb indeed." I sat there wondering. How does she not realize???? But I could never push her. I could never push her to agree to the mating bond. I was lucky she even wanted to be friends with me. So I slithered closer and let my arm draped over her. I woke up holding her tightly. Our legs entangled. I inhaled and got a smll of lavender and snow. My new favorite smells.

I got out of her bed and realized that I shouldn't be sleeping with an engaged women in any way. Even if platonic. So I left the room. When I came back in her room I saw her packing. Then I went downstairs. God who did I think I was? I was in love with an engaged women who thought of me as a friend. I needed to think things through. About how I couldn't do this. That I was not worthy of her and any love that she would give to her fiancé. I was not worthy of anything to do with her. I needed to stop pushing any of my luck of even meeting her.

I was eating breakfast when Elentiya wasn't there. She came down, gave me a letter and started out the door. "Elentiya? Wait! You can't go yet! Where are you going?"

"Home to my family. I've pushed your hospitality far enough."

"No you haven't! You can still push it much farther! Would you like to stay?"

"Of course I would, but my fath-"

"I can ask him and you know." I paused a little. "Throw around my title a bit?"

"I'm afraid that wouldn't work too well."

Then my dad spoke up, "I could ask for my son."

There were tears in her eyes that she was trying to hide. "I'm afraid that would do more damage than good. He isnt the biggest fan of you and Feyre and your son and the night court."

"Who is he?" Her eyes widened.

"Hes no one. It's unimportant."

I could see my dad trying to get in her mind. She covered her ears and tried to block him out.

"Dad stop! DAD!" He pulled back. I rushed to her side as tears fell down her eyes.

"Your mother... your father... why didn't you tell us?"

"I'm sorry. Please don't hurt me. I'll leave. I won't come back. I'm sorry."

"Elentiya we would never hurt you." I hugged her tight as she stared in fear at my dad.

"I'm not going to hurt you Elentiya. But I do understand why you wouldn't want to tell us that. I can still try to get permission from them to let you stay. We won't judge you

"It's all anyone ever sees. I didn't want you to see me the same way. I should just go. I'm sorry. I'm so sorry." She started to try to leave.

I grabbed her arm and she flinched. "Please." Please stay. Please just crush me now. Please just end my hopes or stay here.

She pulled away from me and started out the door. "I'm sorry Alaric. I'm sorry."

When she left through the door I could feel my heat snap in two. My soul. My everything. I began to cry. I sank to my knees and felt sick to my stomach. My dad pulled me up and said, "Son I'm sure it'll be okay. It'll hurt at first a lot but one day you will learn to live with the pain."

"Why?"

He looked taken aback but I continued, "Why me? Why did this perfect person be created just to show me and to be ripped away from me? I don't understand." My dad and mom exchanged a look. But I couldn't care. I didn't care about anything in this moment except watching her. She shifted into a hawk and flew off. I stood there till Kainda dragged me off into my room. It was Night. Elentiya had left at morning. I felt numb, nothing mattered. I slowly began to get back with my family. I was finally normalish at 6 weeks in.

Then we got a letter. It was a wedding invitation. It was to Eris's and Elentiya's wedding, the marriage of the further high lord of the Autumn Court, and the daughter of the high priestess and high lord of the Spring Court. No. She couldn't be. She would've told me.

I thought of all those times she avoided her parents. I thought of those words carved in her back. I dropped the paper. I pushed past my parents into my room. I ruined everything. Threw everything. Smashed everything. Shredded it all till my room was nothing but ruins. I hated it all because it was happy. I hated it all because happy reminded me of her. I hated it all because every time I thought of her I felt like I was nothing. I sat there and cried. I felt like destroying more.

My dad came into the room and saw me. I had everything in ruins. I had trained before I got the letter so I was dirty. I had my hair grown out because I couldn't care for 5 weeks about it. I was crying in the middle of the floor. I was broken without her and barely getting by. And he knew it. But this was the first time he saw it.  I needed her to live. I needed my mate.