Lament at Long Gate Palace

Ten

Disclaimer: This is a translation of the Chinese novel 长门怨 by Qiao Xi/乔夕 and not my own work.

Translated by: Catharcity
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It has been a long time since you last visited Changmen Palace.

I should not have harboured any hopes, yet I still continued to hug my lute every day, awaiting your arrival. As the days passed, I began to wither away. The imperial physicians said that my illness was a sickness of the heart. They were afraid that if this went on, I would…

I wanted so much to see you once again. But it was only when I stood at the terrace of Changmen Palace did I manage to get a glimpse of you. From the terrace of Changmen Palace, I was able to see the insides of Changle Palace. I saw you, staring tenderly at Wei Zifu as the both of you stood within Changle. Occasionally, you would look in the direction of my palace, yet your palanquin never once arrived at Changmen.

Finally, I put my pride down and pleaded with Sima Xiangru to create a poem for me. To use the most sincere words to narrate my heartfelt feelings.

Before I wasted the last of my youth and beauty away, I wanted to see you for the last time.

The Ode of Changmen was Sima Xiangru’s gift to me.

It propelled him to fame, but in the end, it did not bring you to me.

Sima Xiangru told me that you had written a letter to me, promising to meet me in the Southern Palace at noon the next day.

I retrieved the rouge which I had left untouched for a long time and began to draw my face. Beyond the cold palace of Changmen, the flowers had blossomed, their colours enchanting. Huge petals, as striking as the red of blood.

I waited for a day –

You did not arrive.

I waited for three days. I did not eat and I did not sleep.

And you – you did not come.

Later, I heard from the whispers which spread that Wei Zifu had used her child’s illness to stop you from turning up. It was clear to all that she had a motive. In every second of her life, she was constantly on her guard to protect the happiness which she had snatched from me, afraid that everything would return to the way it once was.

I heard that for three days and three nights, you remained in Changle Palace by the bedside of your Prince, your child with Wei Zifu.

I heard that Wei Zifu placed your child into a cold bath water for over two hours, causing him to contract a severe cold.