MY PARANORMAL LOVE

Voices and Chances

Just woke up. Still a loser. Guess I'm still wanting to wake up as beautiful as other girls. Those that guys want. The type they desire - wait - did I want jerks to fall in love with me? No.

Always love yourself.
Always. Love. Yourself.

My daily mantra. Because if I don't who else will? I'm 18. Petite. Wanna be redhead. Close to chubby cheeks. I live in a cozy place where all the people I live with got tons of love to give. What else could I ask for?

Why do I have to count my blessings everytime just to realize how blessed I am? Why do I ask these things to myself everytime, right before I eat my cereals?

Guess I'm a bit insecure. Everybody just got out of highschool. Well, me too, but their lives - their lives are different! Some party; I won't. Some dress well; I don't. Some puts on good make-up; I suck.

I don't want to be like them! There's just one thing though. Something I wish I had now. Especially now that it's like mid-life crisis, but for teens!

A boyfriend.

Come on. I think I'm in the right age. Good judgment. Proper thinking. Right decisions. Controlled emotions. Yeah, I think I'll survive.

Parents think I might be a lesbian. I haven't had any boyfriend. Since birth! I wish I could take that part off. I wish I just had somebody I am not seeing anymore. I wish I could relate to break-up or moving on songs. But I can't, I mean.. I had crushes before. But I wasn't as serious as other girls who would die just for somebody they admire. Why would I do that when I know he can't love me back?

"Hello.."

"AHH!"

The cereal bowl fell.

"What the hell?! Who's that? Dad? Are you home already?"

Nobody answered. The silence gave me chills. I got to call Dad or Mom. Or Tristan! Yes, Tristan. Don't want to call them about another paranormal thing. I am not disturbed!

"Hello, Tristan?"

"Yeah, Cay. What's up? Wanna hang?"

"Tristan. The voice."

"What? What about it? Is it on? Don't have TV at the moment, I thought --"

"No, Tristan! Can you come over? Or pick me up, or whatever! I heard it again. I don't wanna call Mom and Dad about it."

"Oh okay, are you okay, though?"

"Yeah, I'm fine. Just woke up. Just hurry, please."

"Sure, 10 minutes."

I am freaking out. I am having goosebumps. That voice. Two times already! Last time it happened, I almost went to a therapist. I am not disturbed. I kept hearing it. Somebody keeps saying 'hello', especially when I am alone. I am not on drugs or alcohol. Why is this happening?

Maybe the house is too quiet. I got to turn on some loud music, they say it drives away bad spirits.

I have to endure electrodance music until Tristan arrives. He knows what type of music I love since day 1 and if he hears me listening to some Zedd, he will freak out.

Ding dong.

"Coming!"

I only answer doors if it's Tristan or Marga.

"Hey, Caylin. What happened, you alright? You seem pale. Why is Zedd all over your house? You been on meth or what?"

"Stop it, Tristan. It's not funny. I heard it again. I am not kidding, I swear." Looking at him, wearing his favorite douchebag pants and truck hat. He looks like Ashton Kutcher, wasted edition.

"So.. what do I do now, Cay? Do I hug you? Finally?"

"Can you not be a jerk for a day? Just this once?"

"Whoa, sorry. I mean, I'm just trying to make you laugh. Let's just go out. Ice cream? Arcade?"

"Apology accepted."

"That's my girl. Wait for you in the car."

Wore my sweatshirt, shorts and flip-flops, tied my hair into a ponytail and went downstairs.

Tristan.